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It’s the Not Knowing

It starts with a rumor or even just a feeling. Whispers said from the warmth of safety. But it’s the not knowing that keeps you up at night.

Then facts come out and plans form. And a name is put to the stress and the feelings…


But it’s the not knowing that worries you.

Details start to come together. Dates come out and places get named. But it’s the not knowing that keeps your mind constantly thinking.

Lists get made and memories are created. And time is counted down. But it’s the not knowing that becomes an invisible guest in your house.

Tears are shed. Promises are made and dreams are discussed. But it’s the not knowing that takes a toll.

Bags get packed and goodbyes get said. And flights take off. But it’s the not knowing that messes with your head.

Not knowing if he’ll be safe.

Not knowing the area he’ll be spending so much time in.

Not knowing what’s going on because the news terrifies you.

Not knowing when the next call will come.

Not knowing when he’ll come home.

Not knowing if he’ll be okay.

There are just some things you can’t know. So while you can’t stop thinking and you can’t sleep, don’t forget to lean on your tribe. We’ve been there—we get it. Just know you are not alone.


  • Annie Pearce

    Annie was born and raised outside of Pittsburgh, PA (Go Steelers and Penguins!). More than ten years ago, Annie met her husband Chris in Alexandria, VA, while he was assigned to The Old Guard, before being sent to Fort Bragg, NC. In March 2020, Annie and Chris moved with their 4-month-old son from Hohenfels, Germany, to Fort Drum, NY. They literally flew the day before the travel ban went into effect and got a house during the global pandemic—while NY realtors weren't allowed to show houses. Then two months later, Chris deployed. Any and all tips about surviving a deployment with a baby are more than welcome. Before moving to Drum, Annie owned her own event planning business—Attended. Her passion for events has led her to volunteer for non-profit organizations, including the AMA Triangle and Innovate Raleigh. Annie has served in multiple roles for large events including Event Director for Fail Fest Raleigh, Trade Show Manager for High Five Conference, and has managed multiple events for an economic development organization. Annie holds a Master of Science in Integrated Marketing Communication from Northwestern University and a Bachelor of Science in Integrated Marketing Communication from Ithaca College.


  1. Sharita Knobloch

    Goosebumps. And solidarity, Annie. That is all. ❤️

    • Annie Pearce

      Thanks Sharita – it helps knowing I’m not alone.


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