This is us, Milpouse tribe! Forged by fire, friendship, and a wee bit of milspouse luck.
There is a lot of focus in our world on “hunting the goodsStuff” and “finding our joy” (or if you find yourself in some of my worlds, ”embracing the suck”), and it leads me to the question that Clint Eastwood made famous…
Do you feel lucky . . . punk?
HOMECOMING: December 22, 2009
Mike couldn’t sleep on the plane. He couldn’t wait to see Darcy. He couldn’t wait to see her face when she opened his gift. He had it delivered to his buddy Nick’s house. Nick’s wife, Kimmy, loved Darcy, and he knew she would keep a secret. She also wrapped the box and made it look extra special, as only women can do.
Six Lismore hand-cut antique glasses from 1957 were in that wrapped box. Six more to complete the set of eight. All of them were from the same year as the ones Honey had gifted Darcy. Mike couldn’t honestly say he understood the connection Darcy had to them. He also didn’t understand why six pieces of glass cost so flippin’ much. He didn’t understand a lot of things in the world.
Killeen, Texas, 2009
Darcy McNeal had been told (as a new spouse) that developing a routine was important during a deployment. Well, she had her routine down to a science.
Work, drink wine, sleep, and repeat.
Seven months in and she felt like she was doing okay. She avoided most news networks, checked her email daily (sometimes twice), and always had her phone by her side, charged and ready. But her favorite part of the routine was the trip to the community mailbox in their apartment complex. Sometimes (on the best of days), nestled amongst the bills, the flyers, and the catalogs of things she could never afford… there would be a letter.
It took a joyous, fast-paced (COVID-style) courthouse wedding to open my eyes to the importance of knowing what season of life you are in.
If military life had a season cycle, it would start in spring with the first duty station, followed by the career building frenzy of summer. All that experience and education would be put to good use in the fall and finally end in winter with the last duty station, and eventually . . . retirement.
Author’s note: This post is dedicated to all the Army spouses who hesitate when someone asks the loaded, complicated question, “And what do you do?”
Those four little words can have a big impact on our psyche. It even prompted an Army wife in Great Britain to create an exhibit, “Not Just a Wife,” filled with creative art and testimonies from army spouses married to British service members.
“Not just a wife.” Four more impactful words loaded with untapped emotion, frustration, and pride.
It triggered a thought wave for me about recruitment slogans and which ones (if any) would be effective in recruiting spouses to marry into the Army. Bear with me, I was alone in my car with nothing but my thoughts for about four days and I became obssessed rather quickly.
So, here we are… A freshly redeployed soldier, a graduated senior, and a spouse who finds herself reluctant to leave an amazing job and incredible neighbors. We sold the house and are about to embark on a shaky PCS across the country during the great Pandemic, and by the way, it’s move number 13.
Lucky 13…What could possibly go wrong?
As I try not to stress out over the logistics of this particular move, I decided to retrain my brain by reflecting on our past 12 moves and the lessons and blessings each one of those moves gave to us.
Mission: Milspouse is a
501(c)3 nonprofit organization.
EIN Number: 88-1604492
hello@missionmilspouse.org
P.O. Box 641341
El Paso, TX 79904
