If we know one thing about the military, we know it is rooted in decades (and in some cases, centuries!) of tradition. From receiving line etiquette to hosting a battalion coffee, here’s your guide to get it right.
Military life can come with a lot of questions: what to wear, how to respond to invitations, went send a thank you note, and so much more. Below are some common questions the Protocol and Etiquette team is asked.
BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front): “It’s better to be thoughtful to others than to be socially correct.” —Ann Crossley
What Army spouse’s heart doesn’t swell just a bit when she or he hears the sharp flap of our beautiful American flag as it waves in the wind? It represents our wonderful country and the service for which their family devotes themselves. It always flies on post, sometimes in our front yards, and may well be what covers our hero’s casket at the end of life. To respect our flag and what it stands for, it’s important to know some of the background and etiquette that is expected of us.
How many of you have had such great intentions after leaving dinner at a commander’s home, or after a friend sent you flowers when you were ill, to send that person a thank-you note? I am fairly confident we have all been there! Protocol books, like The Army Spouse Handbook (pages 115-120), all suggest to do so in a timely fashion, within a few days. I know for me, sometimes it was weeks later, and I began to really stress about my lack of getting it into the mailbox!
One of our BLUFs (Bottom Line Upfront) in The Army Spouse Handbook states, “Understanding the difference in dress terms can help you be the belle of the ball instead of wearing bell-bottoms to the ball.” Complementing a service member’s uniform is a good guide; e.g. Blue Evening Mess to a Ball would indicate that a female spouse should wear a formal-to-the-floor gown or dressy cocktail dress, while a male spouse should choose a tuxedo or dark dinner jacket. However, how can we tell what to wear to a “dressy business” or “dressy casual” event? They are almost oxymorons.
“I cast my lot in with a Soldier, and where he was, was home to me.” — Martha Summerhayes, 1873, Army Spouse
Life with the Army, as you may know, is often exciting; yet it can be challenging and sometimes stressful. Even though Army spouses are busy with their families and careers, there will still be occasions when you will want to know the protocol and etiquette expected of everyone—for example: parades, changes of command, receptions, New Year’s receptions, balls, dining outs, coffees, and entertaining.
The Army Spouse Handbook, recently published, covers in depth all of those topics and more. It’s a 440-page paperback book that has been updated for the 21st century spouse.
It is a time for patriotism.
As a military spouse, I am thrilled to see pride in our country. Everywhere you turn, you see bumper stickers, yellow ribbons, and flags. Our national symbol—an American flag—we fly them, but do we know how to properly take care of our flag?
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