Yes, manners are still important and that includes Teen etiquette too!

In last-month’s blog, we talked about the basic etiquette to teach your children. When they get a little older, it’s time to add to that list of important etiquette lessons. Teaching your children manners and basic etiquette will carry them further in life than anything else you can teach them.

As parents, we all struggle to balance allowing our children and teens the freedom they need to grow and express themselves with the need to keep them safe and mindful of their future. Recently, a friend related a story on the struggles faced by their child, fresh out of college and new to the work force. The young adult was being haunted by past mistakes and opinions forever recorded on social media.

After several potential employers informed the despondent graduate, in no uncertain terms, “We can teach you the skills you need, but not the manners.” They reached out for a crash course in lessons they wished they had taught their growing teen along the way. Here is a list of the most important elements in basic etiquette and manners to help your teen get ahead of the game and stand out among their peers:

RESPECT: 

• Say “please” and “thank you!” 
• Be punctual—this means to be on time (within 5 minutes of the designated time).
• Know when to be still/quiet. 
• Learn how to be a good listener.
• Stand quietly for the flag and the pledge of allegiance.   
• Be quiet when others are observing their prayer or quiet moment according to their religion.
• Admit when you make a mistake; taking responsibility is a sign of maturity.
• Be respectful of other’s opinions and they will respect yours, even if you can’t find a way to agree.
• Know when to walk away from a disagreement. 

SOCIAL:

• There are times to put down you phone (take off/out headsets or airpods): when someone speaks to you and when you share a meal with someone; it is disrespectful not to. The people around you are interesting; take time to get to know them.
• Learn how to write a thank-you note (a handwritten note will set you apart from your peers).
• Learn how to R.s.v.p. (French for Respondez s’il vous plait; loosely translated means “please respond”). An email or phone call is standard today but learn how to write a response to an R.s.v.p. just in case.
• Learn what is meant on the dress term chart (casual, informal, semi-formal, formal—yes, you can Google this). Hint: casual doesn’t mean blue jeans unless otherwise indicated. 
• Smile and make eye contact when speaking to someone. You appear distrustful or disinterested when you look away while interacting with others.
• It’s just as impolite to be early as to be more than 10 minutes late.
• If you are going to be more than 5-10 minutes late for an event or appointment, it is polite to call ahead to let them know.
• Learn a few golden phrases like: “thank you for having me,” “nice to meet you,” “I appreciate your time,” “I’m sorry to be late.”

AT THE TABLE:

• No cell phones! Once you have taken your pictures, tuck your phone away out of sight.
• When seated at a table with a lot of silverware, work from the outside in. (Dessert and seafood utensils may be situated above the plate.)
• Chew with your mouth closed. 
• Don’t talk with your mouth full.
• Don’t reach across the table, ask for an item to be passed.
• Napkin in your lap. (Napkin in your chair if you get up during the meal, on the table when finished.)
• Wait for everyone at the table to be served before eating.
• When in doubt, follow the oldest person in the room or at the table.

ONLINE:

• Think before you post that pic or comment—it never goes away!
• If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it on the screen.
• Kindness should be the rule.
• Silence speaks volumes. It’s OK not to answer a comment, especially when it’s mean spirited or in poor taste.
• Don’t allow yourself to get provoked into an argument or debate online. 

Remember, little corrections, a little at a time, are easier than all at once.