Grab your battle buddies and as songwriter Stephen Stills says, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

Unfortunately, like New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day is often greeted with unrealistic expectations. If you have a love in your life, it is a day of plans and giddiness. If you’re without your love, let’s just call you the Grinch That Stole Valentine’s Day.

But you don’t have to be!

Yes, it’s another holiday that reminds us of the sacrifices we make as military spouses, and yes, you may have to watch others celebrate their “geographically lucky” loves in ways that make you want to crawl into bed and watch some bad television. But there are many other ways to make it a Valentine’s Day to remember:

1. First of all, don’t forget your loved one downrange. Make sure you get those cards and homemade valentines from the children off to your service member. Need some themed are package ideas? Check out the Valentine’s Day ones here.
2. Try finding some spouses (SFRG, neighbors, battle buddies) in the same boat and make some plans that sound fun to everyone. This Valentine’s Day does not have to be spent with high expectations and expensive gifts. Throw a potluck, go bowling, or have lunch with your kids at school (bring them heart shaped sandwiches).
3. Show yourself some love and schedule a massage or a pedicure.
4. Download your service member’s favorite songs and take a walk or sit outside and listen. Not sure what songs to choose? Check out this unique playlist or any of the playlists on AWN’s Spotify account.
5. Remember, romantic comedies exist for reason, so rent some movies that will make you laugh. I even have a friend who likes to enjoy a beverage while watching Hellboy II. Not conventional, but it works for her!
6. If you really want to do some good on Valentine’s Day, offer to babysit for someone who does have a spouse home (the karma will do you good!).
7. If you are looking to make a difference, take some of your precious red stuff and go donate blood to one of the local hospitals—giving blood is a precious gift that costs nothing and means everything.

Just don’t make yourself feel worse. If you love getting flowers and doing the dinner thing, send yourself some flowers or grab your battle buddies and go have a good meal.

Try to watch others without bitterness because you know that your reunion is coming.  Think of your reunion day as your own personal Valentine’s Day. One that is not sponsored by Hallmark.

After all, the greatest gift delivered will be your service member stepping off that bus.