I have debated on writing on this topic for some time, but haven’t wanted to touch the subject. Recently though, I ran across a page that where fellow female veteran posted about feeling alone in her battle. So I decided it was time to face my own battle and share a little bit more openly.
So here is goes…
I have PTSD.
Dear Mr. Dad: A few months ago, my husband got back from his third Army deployment—two in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. He’s been diagnosed with PTSD and is getting treatment, but I’m worried that his condition is somehow rubbing off on the rest of the family. Our children are having problems in school, I’m finding myself on edge and agitated all the time, and my temper seems to be getting shorter by the minute. I used to think that if we survived three deployments we could survive anything. But now I’m not so sure. What can I do?
It’s been two months since my soldier left for his yearlong tour. As soon as he left, I knew I would need a productive outlet. I’ve always been the creative type, and my current career reflects that. I’m only at work for nine hours Monday through Friday, which leaves the rest of the hours in the week for me to think about my soldier being away.
As my husband’s unit prepares for their upcoming deployment, I am a hot mess of mixed emotions: fear, guilt, pride, sadness, happiness, residual anxiety from his last deployment, and most of all, relief.
Yes, relief.
You see, my husband was honorably discharged from service about four months ago, just as his unit was starting deployment preparations.
One of the most difficult parts of a deployment or TDY is being apart. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to stay connected or find new ways to say, “I love you” when internet connections are down or the service member is busy doing their job.
Here are some ways you and your service member can keep the feelings of love strong while apart:
One year ago today, I welcomed my husband home from deployment.
I suppose, at some point in the near future, I should stop telling people that he “just got back from Iraq.” But I can’t. Because to me, it really does still feel like he just got back, and I’ve been waiting for that to change for almost a whole year now.
So you’ve had the first two major discussions, and now we look at the art of staying connected with your loved ones while apart and helping your child(ren) cope. Let’s get started.
You haven’t even left yet, so it may seem strange to think about leave. Lots of emotions can come into play at the last minute, so having this discussion before you leave will let you all consider the practical aspects.
When your family is getting ready for a deployment or extended temporary, it can seem overwhelming to remember everything that needs to be done. Over the years, we’ve found that there are some specific topics that your family should sit and discuss together before you leave. If you talk about these up front, then when something arises, it’s easier and quicker to make a decision or take an action based on your discussion.
Here are the discussions you must have before deployment or TDY:
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