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encouragement

Ginger Ale Thanksgivings

The holiday season is upon us! Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day, filled with the usual hustle and bustle, shopping and music, food and demands to get busy, plays and programs and recitals—have all suddenly exploded onto the scenes of our already hectic lives.

It’s such an amazing time of year, loved by many. But for others, it’s also an emotional time filled with ups and downs. Feelings of sadness tend to creep up on us as we reminisce on days passed and loved ones we wish could still be with us.

I’ve been an Army wife for nearly nine years, and I have three young sons. A sense of longing for far-away family always fights for my attention in the midst of the holiday business—a longing to live closer to grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles, and to always be able to spend these times with them.

Advent: Spread Hope, Love, Joy, and Peace

One of the best parts about living all around the world is picking up new traditions along the way. After three years in Germany, it was hard not to come back with German traditions. After all, they know how to celebrate the entire Christmas season, beginning in late November and lasting until Christmas Eve.

When touring a local Christmas market during our first year there, I picked up an Advent candle holder. It’s nothing fancy; after all, durability is the first thing I think about when buying something new (especially with seven moves under my belt over the last 11 years). It’s a slab of wood, candles in simple gold holders, and a red silk flower in the center edged with gold glitter. It’s enough to lend a bit of sparkle as the candlelight dances around the room.

The tradition is to light a candle each Sunday leading up to Christmas Eve. We will light the first candle on Dec. 1, and every Sunday until Dec. 22. My family lights them at dinner time, so we can talk about what each candle means.

AROO! AROO! AROO!

Only the crazies are going to understand that there blog title, so if that’s you, I fully expect you to stop whatever you’re doing and make that sound. Go on ahead, take a second, Carol, sitting there on the toilet at work… I’m proud of your dedication!

Now, for the rest of the sane folks wondering what on earth just happened, that sound is the battle cry of the Spartans. No, not the scantily-clad men from the movie 300 (well, hello, Gerard Butler), but those of us who willingly pay money to roll around in the mud, shedding blood, sweat, and tears, all for a cool medal and a banana at the end.

I’m not joking—you literally have to jump over fire for that banana.

Milspouse Empowerment: Where To Find It

For those just entering military life, either as a spouse or significant other of a service member, it can be overwhelming. There are so many things we need to learn, sometimes quickly, and it’s shocking when the military tells us where we’re moving. We get comfortable in a location, but then we move on. We must find ways to adapt and overcome the obstacles.

But as I often say in my writing, remember that there is a “you” here, even when you have to quit your job and move to a new location to potentially start over. Again.

While it doesn’t get easier saying good bye and uprooting once every two or three years or fitting ourselves into military life, we can certainly get better at coping with it. One of the best ways is by empowering ourselves in this military life.

We hear the word “empowerment” a lot—almost as much as we hear “resilience”—and sometimes, the meaning gets lost in the repetitive use of these words. Although it has become a buzzword, because it’s important.

Changing Your Thoughts

“You can’t do it.”

“If you fail, you are going to be a failure and an embarrassment to your family.”

“Remember how you didn’t pass the other certification you were studying so hard for? This is the same. You won’t pass.”

Welcome to my mind and the negative thoughts that I hear while I am studying for a certification in finance. These specific negative voices or lies can be very powerful if you give them the power. If no power is given, they are just simple thoughts that can be quickly replaced by positive thoughts. But it is hard.

How to Find Your Worth When Your Purpose Shifts

Prayers for purpose and the faith to step into it didn’t turn out the way I expected.

At the end of 2014, I was finishing up graduate school as a therapist; my husband had recently returned home from his first deployment after our wedding. I had vaguely clear plans of becoming a trauma and attachment-focused therapist working with service members and military families wherever my husband happened to be stationed—if his orders from Fort Hood ever went through (side note: they didn’t, he retired from there, and we’re still here).

525,600 Minutes: A Season of Deployment

How do we measure a year? A good question, and one that is front and center on my brain tonight.

It is Deployment Eve…

…one of the hardest nights for military families.

I can’t sleep.

The house is littered with duffle bags, packing lists, and emotional land mines as we face the 525,600 minutes that lie ahead.

It is assuredly not our first year apart, and as much as I would like to say that I have lost count, it would be a lie.

If Military Life Had a Scent…

Hello and welcome to the Military Spouse Skin Scent Emporium! We are so pleased you have chosen our fine establishment for your personalized perfume needs. Please choose three of the following scents to combine in order to make your new perfume, which you can proudly wear throughout your brand new journey as a military spouse.

When Living Overseas is Difficult

I always say that it’s worth taking a shot on an OCONUS PCS. Living overseas in a new place can be exciting with plenty of things to see and do.

But it can also feel isolated, scary, and too new for comfort.

I spent three years overseas in Germany, living in a very small German village, so I feel I have a little bit of perspective on this. I didn’t live on post. I was in a set of six row homes, all of whom were Americans, but we were surrounded by Germans.

It. Was. Hard.

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