Resilience has been the key to Desty Rae Boatright’s life. She’s always had the uncanny ability to bounce back from the worst life could hand her and keep moving forward successfully. And when she turned 40 a couple of years ago, with her children grown, she had an epiphany. It was actually her birthday, Aug. 4, 2021.

“I realized I was an empty nester and I thought, ‘what am I going to do.’

My baby Zoie (age 21) said, ‘You can’t live through us anymore, mom.’”

Later that day she found herself driving around Durant, Oklahoma, where she lives, and she wound up passing the university in town, Southeastern Oklahoma State University.

“I thought I’ll never get in there, I’m too old.” 

A week later she had been accepted and was wondering what she going to do now that she had been accepted. That resilience that was hiding in the background popped up again, and soon, there she was in a college classroom with students half her age. It was then Hope ForThe Warriors entered her life.

She is a Gold Star spouse.

Her husband Luke was killed in Iraq in 2004 and while searching for scholarship funding to cover the cost of books each semester,  she discovered the nonprofit’s Military Spouse and Caregiver Scholarships.

She applied, and was awarded the Restoring Family Scholarship for $2,000 last January. She was recently awarded a second scholarship for the spring of 2023.

“(The scholarship) has been amazing. I don’t have to worry or panic about my books for the semester. It just takes off a bit of the strain of starting a new semester,” said Desty.

Since 2006, Hope For The Warrior has awarded Military Spouse and Caregiver Scholarships twice a year.

The program recognizes and rewards post-9/11 spouses and caregivers for their strength, fidelity and resolve despite adversity as they assume critical roles in the financial well-being of their families.

Scholarships vary from $1,800 to $2,500 and are applied toward higher education at an accredited U.S. university, college, or trade school. Unique to the program is a scholarship for Master of Social Work students, Restoring Hope.

Desty’s kids are her biggest supporters. Colton Luke, who is 25, Tanna Reigh, who is 23 and 22-year-old Zoie are her biggest cheerleaders. They also provide inspiration.

“I want to be someone my kids are proud of. I have raised them to be adults and they are all out on their own,” said Desty. “Now it is time for me to make something of myself.”

Her goal is to become a teacher. Specifically, Desty wants to teach Native American children. 

“Becoming a teacher is something I have always wanted to do, to shape the hearts and minds of the little and let them know they can be anything they want to be when they grow up.”

“I’m taking Choctaw language class and I’m hoping to add native studies as a minor. I want to work on a school on the Choctaw reservation,” she said.

Where her journey started..

Desty’s journey as a single parent of three young children began in December 2004 with a knock at the door and the news her husband U.S. Army Sgt. Luke Boatright had been killed in action.

When she reflects on that day, that terribly awful day, she remembers thinking,

“My life is over. What? Why? How? How am I going to raise these kids alone? I just lost my best friend,” said Desty, who married Luke when she was 15 and pregnant. Luke was 16 years old.

Then she got up, dusted herself off and did what Gold Star spouses have always strived to do her best to get on with life.

“I was a military widow at the age of 23. My world was shattered, and I knew I had to become the strongest person I ever knew I could be.”

Desty figures she was born resilient with a little bit of resilience embedded into her soul.

“I knew when I lost Luke and I was only 23, I had three babies that depended on me as much as I depended on them to keep me going.”

And that’s what they have done for almost 20 years … leaned on each other, supported each other in difficult times and laughed a lot in good times.

The last couple of years haven’t been overly kind to Desty. Last year she was diagnosed with breast cancer, fortunately found it early and has fully covered.

A year earlier, a drunk driver ran a stop sign and slammed into the driver’s side of her car with her daughter riding in the passenger seat. She had to be airlifted to a hospital where she spent several days. Her daughter thankfully, escaped injury.

A week after getting out of the hospital from the car accident, she was out for dinner, heard a tornado warning for her neighborhood and rushed home. By the time she got there, part of the roof had been ripped off her house and the inside was flooded.

Her small barn had been lifted off its foundation and dropped, hitting her three dogs and killing them and her just-completed pink chicken coop was destroyed.

She says things are about back to normal at her little homestead, which includes ducks, chickens, dogs, horses, cows, and cats. 

“Over the years I just never let things get me down. I had to overcome the worst in my life and that was having to bury Luke and not understanding why. Trust me, there were days I wanted to give up, but for some reason I never have.”

Hope For The Warriors has granted 210 Military Spouse and Caregiver Scholarships totaling $554,907.

The 2023 fall scholarship application is open from March 1- April 30. To receive an application to apply, visit hopeforthewarriors.org and connect for services.