Sometimes the unexpected takes us by surprise.

My husband was selected for brigade command in Korea. In preparation, we decided to go to the pre-command course together.

We had attended the pre command course for battalion command.  The best parts of the previous course were working together to create a command philosophy and setting parameters for ourselves and our family to try to live harmoniously while my husband was in command of the battalion. 

We had the same expectations for the brigade command pre-command course. It was time to recenter ourselves for what lay ahead. 

What really made an impact the second time we attended (as a result of battalion command experience) was the emphasis on creating a team with your CSM’s spouse, knowing the services available to family members in need, and the legal aspects of command. i.e. What you can and cannot do, influence, etc. 

It was a lot to learn.

The legal advisors at the course talked about receiving gifts, what you can and cannot receive by monetary amount, and how people will try to influence you with gifts, etc.

I thought I was prepared.

But gift giving is a part of Korean culture and it required me to gain a nuanced understanding of the local culture.

And so, armed with new knowledge, we headed to Korea.

Once I had our house in some semblance of order, I went to get the phones we brought from the States outfitted with new SIM cards. 

The phone company was in the USO. When we walked in, the room was filled with soldiers in Lazy Boy recliners, playing video games or signing up for USO tours, and the phone service counter.

My youngest, then 5, and I walked up to the phone counter. I explained that I needed 5 SIM cards for our phones.

The woman told me that there was a new promotion: everyone got the newest phone for the same price as the new Sim cards or for starting a new service. 

I thought,  ‘It’s my lucky day!”

I took the 5 new phones and went home. 

Later that evening, when I had time to figure out the new phone, I took it out of the box and started reading the instruction manual.  

That’s when it hit me. This was not a ‘new phone promotion’…..this was ‘MY new promotion! 

The next day, my 5-year-old and I went back to the phone store. 

I explained that I just wanted my old phone with a new SIM card and that this new one was just too hard to understand. (I felt like I had to say anything to have them take the phones back.  Well, almost anything!)

The salesperson said,

‘This is a new promotion.  It’s all good.’

I said, “Does everyone get this new promotion? Do all the soldiers in here get a new phone when they sign up with your service?”

She replied, “Aren’t you the new commander’s wife?’ (That’s when I knew my instincts were right.)

I said,”Yes.”

She replied, “It’s a welcome gift for you.”

I told her I couldn’t keep the gift.

It was too much and finally, after telling her that I would get my husband in trouble, she acquiesced, but she was displeased.

I thanked her, conscious of her disappointment/anger with me, and began walking toward the door.

As I reached for the door handle, I noticed that my daughter had a large stack of cards in her hand. 

GIFT CARDS!  One hundred gift cards!

I marched right back to the phone counter and explained that my daughter couldn’t take these either.

They explained that they were ‘nothing’, something just for the little girl. 

As I laid the cards on the counter and said,

‘Thank you, but we can’t accept them,”

I was given a sigh and a less than favorable look, which reinforced the feeling that this was the right thing to do. 

Looking back, I’m glad that experience happened early in my husband’s time in brigade command. It prepared me for what laid ahead.

Sometimes, learning in the classroom doesn’t really sink in until you are experiencing it, especially in a new culture!

Editor’s Note: We really appreciate the insight Laura brings to our community. Her integrity and keen observations make her such a valubale resource for military spouses! 

*To read more posts from Laura, Click HERE!