Farewell, Adieu, Abschied, Despedida

“I cast my lot in with a soldier, and where he was, was home to me.” –Martha Summerhayes

Martha Dunham, a Massachusetts native, married Lt. Jack Summerhayes in 1874 and was swept up in the refined customs and elegant social life of the East Coast military.

Harsh realities soon replaced polished routines when they were sent to Fort Apache in the remote Arizona Territory—a place for which she was utterly unprepared.

Her reflections are a timeless summary of military spouse life: resilience, sacrifice, and unwavering commitment.

Though separated by centuries, Martha’s journey echoes that of countless spouses who leave home, adapt quickly, and support their soldiers wherever duty calls.

While the excitement of military life is real, so too are the questions it raises about etiquette, customs, and traditions.

Since we began, our traditions and protocol team has committed itself to answering these questions—offering guidance, clarity, and a bit of history along the way.

Military traditions—like those that mark weddings, funerals, and holidays—aren’t just formalities, they’re what connect us, past and present, to something larger.

 Every occasion and interaction contains underlying traditions, protocols, and etiquette. Whether it’s the unspoken social guidelines within a friend group or the published rules of the proper placement of dignitaries in a receiving line. We have unpacked, diagrammed, explained, and divulged our insights to help you navigate the nuances of the military.

Through our wisdom and experience of over 100 combined years of fun-filled, well-lived army lives, it has been our honor to share our successes and lessons learned from our many years married to the military.

As M:M heads for the high ground, remember that what you read on the internet isn’t always accurate.

We encourage you to continue to reference our blogs and trust the advice from the experts, as we have painstakingly worked to present it to you.

Share in the traditions that connect you with spouses who have come before you and those who will come after you. Understand the protocol and etiquette so you will feel comfortable at any event and in every setting.

For all spouses who “cast your lot in with a soldier,” who boldly go wherever the military sends you and make every house, a warm, inviting, and safe home, the T&P team bids you farewell and leaves you with our individual words of advice:

Thank you to this amazing team! I feel blessed and honored to add this to my list of life-changing experiences!

In my 30 years of this wild Army adventure, I have met amazing people, traveled to wonderful places, and gained valuable insight:

Breathe—every challenge will make you stronger.

Embrace—connect with your soldier and family every day.

Smile— meet all the wonderful people in the community and within your unit.

Unplug—find time each day away from devices, screens, and negative people. 

Volunteer—if everyone does a little bit, it helps a lot.

Explore—be curious and discover new things wherever you are.

Always remember—put your faith, family, and soldiers first, and everything else will fall into place. 

Warmly, Lynda 

Having been a military spouse for 34 years meant learning the true meaning of resilience.

It’s about adapting to constant change, finding strength during separations, and creating community wherever the military sends you.

I chose to stay engaged, even now in retirement—volunteering, supporting other families, being involved in the local community, and taking advantage of the many educational opportunities offered to spouses.

From personal development courses to leadership and career training, I embraced and continue to embrace lifelong learning opportunities. 

 I’ve learned that service isn’t limited to those in uniform—it extends to the families who stand beside them. It has been my pleasure to write with our team of Ann, Ginger, and Lynda, along with Cassandra Perkins, our boots on the ground advisor!

Wishing you all the best! –Michelle

Throughout our 38 years of Army service, David and I found that having foundational pillars anchored our spirits and cultivated a profound sense of hope!

 

“Faith in the Foxhole; Hope on the Homefront.”

 

 

Our pillars are the 4 F’s:

 

 

 

Faith: An unwavering belief in a higher power that bestows daily fortitude; Psalm 91 – Prayer of Protection.

Family: Beloved relatives and friends who have evolved into our extended Army family; indeed, it requires a village to thrive.

Fitness: A daily infusion of EDOS (Endorphins, Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin).

Friend: A confidant with whom to share both jubilations and tribulations.

 

Forever grateful to our M:M blog team — Ann, Michelle, Lynda and Cassandra!

Hooah XOXO, Ginger  “Wind beneath your wings”

Lastly , we leave you with the wise words from Ann Crossley who sadly passed in 2024:

“Use the information with grace; it’s better to be thoughtful to others than to be socially correct.” The Army Wife/Spouse Handbook

– M:M T&P team signing off the net!

Editor’s Note: Words can not express the appreciation we have for the Traditions and Protocol team. These ladies work tirelessly to honor tradition and answer questions from seasoned and new spouses. WE love you all- Thank you for sharing your gifts with us.