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Asking for Help in Military Life is Hard

During deployments and other separations, the spouse or significant other holds down the fort at home.

All the resources and blogs say that you don’t have to do the fort-holding alone.

You can and should ask for help when you need it, they say.

But, I’m going to let you in on a not-so-secret secret:

Asking for help is hella hard for me. As it is for many others.

Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with asking for help in my military life:

As a disabled person and a military spouse, it’s necessary for me to be able to ask.

The why is simple: Sometimes I need help.

For example, and as I’ve mentioned here and here, I can’t drive. I’ve used resources like Volunteer Transportation at Fort Drum, and Sun Metro Lift at Fort Bliss to get to scheduled events and appointments.

If I needed to go somewhere unexpectedly, I would call a friend and ask for a ride.

No big deal. It’s help I know I need, and friends are often happy to help.

But I don’t need help with everything.

Family members and civilian friends have offered to host my son and me, each time my husband has been away.

I appreciate and consider every offer. The offers come from a place of kindness and care, but they aren’t always the best choice for my family.

Sometimes I need to stay home, use the resources where I am, and spend time with the friends that have become family, here.

Stay tuned for part II, where I’ll explain why staying home is important to me.


  • Amanda Krieger

    Amanda Krieger is an Army wife and mom. She met her husband while he was enlisting, online to boot, even though at the time they only lived five miles apart. She has BA and MA Theology degrees from Ave Maria University and the Franciscan University of Steubenville, as well as an MA in English and Creative Writing. Her hope is to publish a memoir chronicling her life as a woman with a disability who happens to be married to a military man. A stay-at-home mom and still relatively new to military life, Amanda spends her days taking care of her family and learning as much as she can about military life. She's passionate about body positivity, disability representation, self care, her faith, and good food. She loves to see new places and try local cuisine.

1 Comment

  1. Sharita Knobloch

    Amanda, I am SO glad you are at Fort Bliss with the Knobloch crew– and can’t wait until you are back here (aka, HOME) to stay! We’ve missed you.

    PS: Call me anytime you need a ride 🙂


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