During deployments and other separations, the spouse or significant other holds down the fort at home.
All the resources and blogs say that you don’t have to do the fort-holding alone.
You can and should ask for help when you need it, they say.
But, I’m going to let you in on a not-so-secret secret:
Asking for help is hella hard for me. As it is for many others.
Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with asking for help in my military life:
As a disabled person and a military spouse, it’s necessary for me to be able to ask.
The why is simple: Sometimes I need help.
For example, and as I’ve mentioned here and here, I can’t drive. I’ve used resources like Volunteer Transportation at Fort Drum, and Sun Metro Lift at Fort Bliss to get to scheduled events and appointments.
If I needed to go somewhere unexpectedly, I would call a friend and ask for a ride.
No big deal. It’s help I know I need, and friends are often happy to help.
But I don’t need help with everything.
Family members and civilian friends have offered to host my son and me, each time my husband has been away.
I appreciate and consider every offer. The offers come from a place of kindness and care, but they aren’t always the best choice for my family.
Sometimes I need to stay home, use the resources where I am, and spend time with the friends that have become family, here.
Stay tuned for part II, where I’ll explain why staying home is important to me.
Amanda, I am SO glad you are at Fort Bliss with the Knobloch crew– and can’t wait until you are back here (aka, HOME) to stay! We’ve missed you.
PS: Call me anytime you need a ride 🙂