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A couple of nights ago, I got a text. Just a few simple words, but they meant so much.

“Hey, are you okay?”

On a scale of 1 to 10, I was at a 7 of not okay. Classes were taking their toll on me, homework was piling up around me, even part-time work seemed like too much, and the house looked like three tornadoes tore through it. All the nopes (my organizational skills can only do so much, apparently).

Scheduling meals, keeping track of what homework gets done on what day, and when the bathrooms get scrubbed down is great, but keeping all those balls in the air at once is exhausting. I try to focus on the fact that it’s already February, and this is going to get better in May.

Back to my text: “Are you okay?”

The military places great emphasis on our service members having a battle buddy. They encourage checking up on your buddy,  and of course, never leaving your buddy behind. It is critical that service members be able to know that the one fighting beside them has their back. This camaraderie and trust coupled with shared experiences helps our service members remain mentally fit and combat ready.

It’s also important for spouses to have those people in their lives who will ask, “Hey, are you okay?” when something seems off.

That battle buddy to say, “Let’s grab a coffee and catch up.”

To be that battle buddy is to be someone’s “there.”

We aren’t alone on this crazy Tilt-a-Whirl-world of PCSing, duffle bags, and stinky PT uniforms.

Reach out if you need help.

Surround yourself with people who know what it’s like to say goodbye and hello over and over and over again.

Be someone’s there.

Tap into those resources of people who can give you tips on getting the stinky out of the PTs.

I’m glad I have my “there.”

And do you know what? It isn’t one-sided. I can pay it forward be someone else’s “there” so much easier when I know that my battle buddy has my back.

Who is your “there?” How do they encourage you? Join the conversation and leave a comment.

Not sure how to find someone to be your “there?” Don’t fret. Check out this post on 6 Ways to make Friends at a New Duty Station.



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