As any military spouse knows, the armed forces has its own language and terms. Describing a family member that has experienced the death of a service member is no exception. A Gold Star family member is a parent, spouse, child, or sibling that has lost their service member while serving on active duty. Since I have become a military widow, I have found that a large portion of the military community is not familiar with this term or where it came from.

In World War I, the American tradition of the service flag began. Families displayed a simple fabric banner with a blue star for each family member serving in the U.S. Armed Forces. If a family member died in the nation’s service, a gold star covered that individual’s blue star on the family service flag. Not a symbol of mourning, the gold star represented the family’s pride and the honor and glory of the service member for making the supreme sacrifice in the defense of America. Family members that experience this devastating and heart-wrenching loss are now called Gold Star Families or Families of the Fallen.

The Army has a program that specifically aids in helping these families. The program is called Survivor Outreach Services. They provide quality care to any Gold Star family member for as long as they choose, which includes information, assistance, and resources that can help family members in many ways. This program can be an essential lifeline to many families. Through this program, the Army provides support groups, information about programs that are available, and even reserved parking on many installations for the Families of the Fallen.

This is such an important program for these families during their journey through the grief process, but could be used by many other members of the military community that may be experiencing a death in their family or in their unit. I have personally found that the camaraderie that occurs when being able to talk to and be supported by other Gold Star Families is invaluable. There is something amazing that happens when you are able to talk to someone that knows what you are going through.

Support and resources are essential for any military spouse, especially in a time of loss, and the SOS can be an essential lifeline.