“We are what we celebrate,” Meg Cox writes.

Our traditions are an outward expression of our family identity. The traditions we observe and the meaning behind them communicator family values to our children and others. The types of traditions we teach our children, and that were taught to us as children, are one way our family values get passed down from one generation to the next. For example, a family that values community service may have a tradition of volunteering at a soup kitchen or food bank together.

The scary thing is we teach our children about our family identity all the time by the activities we engage in as a family. Worried about the message that gift-centric traditions might be communicating to your children? Start a gratitude tradition! That is why intentionality in observing traditions is so important; without it, you forfeit your power to forge your family’s own identity. However, what makes traditions effective is that they bring together the family, foster connection, and have a purpose, and you get to chose that purpose.