Dear Moms,

We live in an age of extreme judgement. We judge our clothes, houses, cars, and worst of all, we judge our kids.

Our Kids! Kids grades, kids sports, kids college choices, kids everything.

And, they know adults tend to be judgmental. They feel this judgement at school and often, at home.

This era of hyper-judgement has made both parents and kids believe that it’s not OK to be average or just a little above average.

Our American culture tells our kids, through the handheld devices they carry, they must be exceptional in all areas of life. 

It is an unrealistic goal, and it’s no wonder American kids tend to be more anxious and worried than just a decade ago. 

We are not ALL built to be chiefs of industry, doctors, or lawyers, the occupations our society deems the ultimate success stories.

We need all types of people in all sorts of careers and professions to make our communities better. 

So, rather than focusing on grades in school, (the way I have judged my older kids the most), I’ve started to look at the qualities and character traits my teen has now.

I want to help her build the skills she will need to become a positive, healthy, independent adult. 

Isn’t that the ultimate goal?

I’m focusing on things like building self-confidence, praising her for the little things she does, supporting her educational accomplishments, and highlighting the positive moments in her life, (Yes, she rolls her eyes).

No, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. 

I directly address her occasional weaknesses and give her feedback/corrections she often doesn’t want to hear. 

She doesn’t like it (and neither do I) but I am her mom, not her friend. It’s a balancing act.

One hour I’m giving out compliments, the next questioning a grade (nope, I’m not perfect). 

Baby steps for both of us. 

I have found communicating with teachers, school counselors, and psychologists can help, especially when trying to get an assessment of the areas that my child needs the most support.

Although, the most beneficial person to talk to is… in this case, my daughter. (This does take multiple tries!) Do whatever it takes to build your child up.

They are the future and need all the support they can get. 

Fondly,

Your Sometimes Above Average Mom

Editor’s Note: To all the Moms out there who feel this piece in your soul…. Please know you are not alone! For more posts from our fabulously grounded Laura Holland, visit her M:M Author Page.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!