Traditions are the threads that weave our past and future, connecting generations and creating lasting memories.

But what happens when your family’s holiday traditions are as unpredictable as life itself? 

My family’s holiday traditions were, well, unpredictable.

Some years, we’d host lavish turkey dinners with all the trimmings. Others, it was Old Country Buffet.

The tree?

Sometimes real, sometimes not. It wasn’t because my parents didn’t try, but life had other plans. A quadriplegic grandmother, an incarcerated brother – our family’s tapestry was rich in unexpected moments.

While it didn’t bother me then, I now realize how those times have shaped my identity.

Fast Forward 25 Years.

Now, I find myself a military spouse with a precious toddler in tow, married to Jon, who hails from a small upstate New York town where traditions run deep.

Holidays at their place are epic, with Thanksgiving being a full-day extravaganza that stretches from late morning until evening, filled with multiple “dinners” and endless games.

Christmas, too, is a joyous affair, complete with Secret Santa, white elephants, and mitten-clad gift unwrapping.

From the moment I met Jon’s family seven years ago, I felt like I was part of their traditions.

Their warmth and inclusivity made their customs feel like my own. It’s beautiful how traditions can bridge gaps and unite hearts.

Their traditions became mine, but I want to make my own.

This is the first year my son will remember the pine tree smell, the unique ornaments, and the taste of freshly baked Christmas cookies.

I want to go on a quest to find the perfect tree. I want to look at each ornament and tell him its story.

I want to decorate cookies, overeat sugar on Christmas Eve, and read him “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” every year. He’ll look forward to these moments just as much as we will. 

I’ve come to realize that my childhood might have lacked traditions, but my son’s won’t.

I’m determined to embrace these new beginnings, even if it means having difficult conversations, carefully balancing our time, and occasionally saying “No.”

I can’t help but wonder how many other military spouses navigate these waters, and I hope that by sharing my journey, I can let them know they’re not alone.

In the midst of life’s unpredictability, we have the power to create our own traditions and craft our own stories.

As I embark on this journey with my family, I invite you to reflect on your own traditions and the role they play in your life.

Let’s remember that traditions are a reflection of the love and connection we share with those who mean the most to us.

Written By Kate Dudley

Kate is married to a New York Army National Guard recruiter and has served as a military spouse for four years. She loves the outdoors, so being a “boy mom” feels like a calling.

Her family loves fishing, hiking, and golfing. Her toddler has a better golf swing than she does, so she’s already looking forward to serious competition on the course in the near future.

Kate serves as a HFTW Communications Specialist, so she has the honor of interviewing military heroes daily and telling their stories.

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