As parents, teaching and being role models for our military children lead to many exciting & challenging moments as we watch them transform into adults. As military families, there are many protocols and etiquette challenges that may be different than the basic childhood lessons of saying please, thank you, no ma’am, yes sir and the like. 

Making Introductions

When being introduced to adults, especially any leadership in your Soldier’s chain of command, encourage children to stand and say hello, and to offer their hand in greetings and introductions. But you know your own child, so if they are uncomfortable or have social anxiety, at least encourage the hello portion. The same goes with hugs. Don’t force your child to hug anyone they are not comfortable around. Let them follow their own gut feelings but without being rude. We all have learned so much over the years in regard to the forced introductions! 

Showing Respect for the Flag

As those of you with children know, they are like little sponges and mimic and learn so much from us parents! So as military families, paying respect and honor to the flag may be a daily event if you live on an installation. Otherwise, it can be taught when on post running errands or at a military event. Showing them by example is key to so many of our Army traditions and protocols. At retreat, our kids learned to stop whatever they were doing if in earshot of the bugle calls to attention and Taps. If you are driving on an Army post (not the same on an AF base), stop your car, and everyone exits to stand and face where the flagpole is, with hand over heart or saluting, for the military member.

But please do check with your installation, as we hear several installations no longer stop cars entering or exiting for retreat! Michelle can recall being outside chatting with neighbors and the kids would so often remind the adults, while stopping their activities, facing towards the area where they knew the flag was, and putting their hands over their little hearts! We have all seen photos of these on social media and they still give us bloggers goosebumps of pride! 

The Struggle of Table Manners

I know, I know, we all have these challenges when it comes to mealtime! Practicing some basic table manners at home can lead to calm and prideful moments when dining at friends’ homes, restaurants or at military functions! Just getting our sweet children to sit still, not fidget and chew with their mouths closed is a win! But at least teach them the proper use of utensils, using them from the outside in, and once in a while, throw in a food they may not be used to eating like asparagus, soft boiled eggs or artichokes.

Teach which direction the soup spoon is used, which direction to pass food (counter clockwise), dessert spoons and forks are often at the top of the plate, etc.  Michelle learned to eat seven-minute eggs as a kid from a family friend. She loved using those little egg cups and carefully trying to crack just the top portion of the egg and digging in with her spoon. 

Making New Friends

With all the moves our soldiers and their families make, let’s not forget the stressors that can be put on our children, especially when it comes to attending new schools and making friends. As you transition into new work environments and neighborhoods, remember your children will be watching how you do this. Hopefully, they will take your lead in making that new assignment their home. Teaching them to treat others as they themselves would like to be treated, is a great tool in making friends or welcoming the new kid into their social circle.

The number one etiquette rule should be to always show kindness to others!

We hope these etiquette suggestions will help your children along the way to be more comfortable in military and other social settings and allow you to take more pride in them than you already do! Stay tuned for next month’s etiquette tips for teens!