I am always astounded at negative feedback—feedback that is harsh and loud and in no way constructive.

I’m all for opinions being shared. And mostly, as I understand it, the lashing out is borne of mistrust, feelings of abandonment, and deep-seated feelings that war is wrong. It’s not meant to be personal, even though it feels like it is.

But, reaching out is much more effective, isn’t it? The lashing out can spin people up and maybe even make them act immature or ignorant.

Typically, I don’t respond to negative feedback. I reach out farther and more fervently to change or engage minds about how we can fix the situation or cope if we can’t. That isn’t just my mission, but the mission of all of us here at Army Wife Network.

To empower and support…no matter your opinion.

And it’s working—men and women who love a service member (the common thread) are reaching back. From the one I spoke to yesterday that felt like she must spew all the generally negative things she feels about military spouses, to the one who has befriended us even though she is committed to her anti-war cause.

It takes all kinds: examples of what to do and examples of what not to do for us to learn from and grow from.

When you’re emulating the example you’ve chosen, take a moment and think about where those footsteps will lead and what echoes your family, friends, and children may hear. Will they further your cause or prove your ignorance? Will they make it seem as if you’re saying one thing and doing another?

What will be revealed?

You know, it isn’t completely true anymore that “actions speak louder than words.” Words count for a lot. Let your words be your guide. Check yourselves, your footsteps, and your echoes, for they are often hard to erase and take longer to dissipate than you may realize.