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4 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive

It’s hard sometimes, as a military spouse, when our spouse is away on a deployment, TDY, other work-related leave, or after having children to be able to get some quality time with our spouse to keep the romance alive.

We’re alone without our other half until they return, or if they’re home, we usually wait until the kids are in bed to maybe be able to watch at least a show together.

How do we keep that fire going, those butterflies that we had when we were dating?

One way is to keep the mindset that you are still dating! What do I mean by that, you may be asking?

You’re married now, and the craziness of dating is over. Well, yes that’s true, you aren’t technically dating your significant other anymore, but don’t stop trying to learn about your spouse, what they enjoy, what makes them happy, like you did when you were dating.

Do you remember the cute little things you used to do for them? The outfits you’d wear or the messages you would send? The sweet kisses you would steal or hand touches that would make you both feel the butterflies? Why does it have to stop when you’re married?

Keep that romance alive. We often see stories of what husbands can do for their wives, but I want to focus on what wives can do for their husbands.

Here are a few ideas to keep your romance alive:

1. Plan something

Send your husband a cute text like “Can’t wait to see you when you come home from work! I have a surprise for you ;)” and surprise him with a candle-lit dinner and wearing something he loves to see you in or something you feel sexy in.

2. Photos

If you feel comfortable, while he’s away go to a boudoir shoot and send him photos or a custom calendar. Or when the kids are in bed, light that fireplace, and/or some candles, and set a blanket in front of it with some sweet treats for just you two to enjoy.

3. Sweet texts

Why not send him a text while he’s at work like “Thinking of you babe (or whatever your nickname for him is)” or telling him while you are walking around at the store, “Just wanted to let you know you’re so handsome, and I’m proud of the man you are.”

4. Think back to dating

Think about some of the things you used to do to try and win him over; those things don’t have to stop when you’re married.


It can be hard, especially when you move to a new place and do not have a babysitter to go on dates, but try to figure out times and things to do to work around this, like when the kids are asleep, or things you could say only through texts, or in the privacy of your room while the kids watch a movie. If you’re close to family or friends you trust with your children, try to make it a priority for you and your spouse to have some quality time together.

No matter what your age, how long you’ve been married, how many kids you may or may not have, don’t let that be a reason to not keep that romance alive. It’s so important to make your marriage a priority and all that encompasses, including the romantic side.



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