We weren’t at that particular installation long. Just long enough to move in, for my husband to then be given unexpected orders to deploy for twelve months, and a couple of months after his return, we were on our way out. We were leaving.

We were supposed to be stationed there two to three years. We didn’t even make it to two. 

More unexpected orders. More unexpected transitions. 

That’s the military life. 

Surprisingly, I found myself feeling more emotional about the move than I expected. We weren’t at that location long enough to fully enjoy it as a family, and I hadn’t thought I had attached myself as much as I did. I had thought I experienced too many difficult moments to be able to form fond memories of the area.

I had imagined exclaiming, “Good riddance!” as we moved full speed ahead to the next duty station as a complete family. 

But as we started closing things out, I began to feel different.

I thought through our short time there, and I felt proud of all the children and I had accomplished in my husband’s absence. We had just enough time to make that place our home.

We navigated our way through many challenges, thrived from the activities of which we participated, and thoroughly enjoyed the sweet relationships we had formed with friends. 

I thought of all the places the children and I had ventured on our own – our daring spirits, our courage that lived out in those places. And they were hard to leave.

The new activities my children nervously tried, then excelled and didn’t want to let go of.

Those were hard to leave.

Even the doctors and occupational therapists who helped my daughter through surgery – that we had bravely done on our own.

They were hard to leave. And those special people around us who became family and helped through the challenging moments.

They were the hardest to leave.

The children may not have felt the impact as strong as me, but I felt I was leaving a huge part of my essence there.

I was coming to the realization that this was a place I had conquered!

And I was now having to look at it in the rear-view mirror.

As we pulled out, I felt a tug in my spirit.

We started as a happy family in this location, then my husband was pulled away for awhile. The children and I were forced to restart on our own, find the good in all the little hardships we endured, and flex and mold to the ever-revolving newness in our situations.

We came, we conquered…and we turned out better for it! This place had become ours! It had become a big part of who we were. And it was all shared with some truly wonderful people.

So now I wasn’t so sure I was ready to leave all of that behind. Or really, I felt that maybe I had to leave the new me behind. 

I felt the spark I had grown there was being extinguished and it was sincerely a bittersweet moment for me. I wasn’t sure I had the energy or desire to conquer the next installation – even though my husband wasn’t going anywhere. 

It is a challenge to put it all in words because these feelings surprised me.

But I think it comes down to my feeling a sense of pride, accomplishment, even empowerment. I felt there was a piece of the children and me in everything we did, and every challenge we overcame, and it was strange to feel like we were leaving ourselves there. 

I have been sad to leave every duty station we’ve experienced, but I had simply thought this one wouldn’t be as hard as the others.

Once I recognized how much I had accomplished there, and the individuals who had accomplished it with me, I felt different.

Maybe some of you reading this have felt the same. 

Whether we’re ready or not, there comes a day in our military lives where we must move on. Just as I had toughed it out to take on that place, I figured I’d somehow find a way to overcome any hurdles I may face at the next place. 

And I have!

Each new day gives me a new place to explore, new food to try, and most importantly, new friends to meet. When it gets hard, I call on those friends.

So, it’s really not about me. It’s about who I do it all with! And if I’m intentional about living life with the special people God brings me, we can easily conquer any place! 

Editor’s Note: Lavaughn captures the essence of Military Life in this piece. Read more of her work HERE!