While scrolling through some reels today on Instagram, I saw a few seconds of a reel where there was a woman reacting to someone who said, “Is being a military spouse your entire personality?”

She gave the camera a glare, then I scrolled on.

I cannot give her credit because I am not sure who it was, but it stuck out to me because I had already started writing this blog post.

Is being a military spouse our entire personality? Sometimes it feels like it! 

Sometimes it feels like my entire life is centered around the Space Force (military).

I purposely seek opportunities that deepen that commitment to the military community as I venture into advocating for military families and helping Space Force spouses connect to each other and the mission.

I have met so many amazing military spouses, and mentors who have added so much to my life, and yet, I am so much more than a military spouse (milspouse). 

It’s just like when you are a mother….

it feels like your entire self becomes absorbed into caring for your children.

After all, doesn’t a mother love their children more than anything? Therefore, it is easy to be consumed with their needs. One almost loses their whole identity into what it means to be a mother.

Every decision is weighed looking at how that thing will affect your children, and how to better help guide them in life.

At a certain point one looks around and wonders who they really are after their children are grown. 

In some ways, being a military spouse is like that.

Maybe we don’t love the military as much as our children, but it definitely consumes a lot of our lives.

My self has been absorbed into this service to country and our military community. I often remind myself that I will not always be a part of this community.

Someday, my husband will retire from active duty, and we will join the retiree/veteran community and have a new cause to fight for.

While it is still military connected, I expect it will give us some freedom because the military will not be choosing our lives for us.

Active-duty life dictates so much of what we do and think about.

Yet, I am still more than a milspouse. 

It’s ok to be interested in other things. In fact, it’s healthy to have many other interests. 

Finding other interests is an intentional practice for me. I volunteer with a non-profit that helps the military community, but I also work for another organization that is a faith-based organization.

This work is very meaningful to me, and helps me grow in compassion for others. I am always looking for ways to broaden my worldview.

It’s important to foster connections with others who are not just an echo of what you already think and believe.

Some people find community outside of the military by attending a church, working in the local community, or volunteering for local programs and events.

It is important that we build our own circle of friends and a support system for our families. 

We should leave every community better than before we came.

We can take the good from every place with us either as memories or as guides for what is next and leave the bad behind.

I am a believer that every small act has long lasting ripple effects into the future. 

Another thing that I love to do is to read books that do not pertain to military life. In the grand scheme of things, we are all just normal people.

As a “normal” person, I like to learn new things and push myself to be a better person.

This does not always have to tie into what I do for the military community, even though it may also do that in the long run.

I just have a core value of being kind, generous, and loving. 

In recent years, I have found myself trying new things.

I turned 50 recently, and my children are mostly grown. I had to find some things that give me purpose.

I think this is pretty common at this stage in life. People get tired of the things they have been doing or they are not needed in the same way that they were before, and this gives them a lot of free time to try to fill.

This meant going back to school, finding part time work, and applying to write blogs for Mission Milspouse which has been a crazy ride! I am thinking about learning to crochet, knit, or some type of needle craft because I also need to find things to do that are not on screens. 

How do you find ways to be more than just a “milspouse”?

*To read more of Anna’s work, check out her MM Author Page.