Surrounded by the nostalgia and tradition of the elegant Thames Foyer at the Savoy Hotel in London, Ginger and her sister recently enjoyed an afternoon of tea.

Sandwiches, scones with clotted cream, and a couple glasses of champagne brought back fond memories of welcome and farewell teas in the military!

Whether you’re at Fort Cavazos, Texas attending a brigade welcome tea or in the Twining’s Tea House established 1706 in England, the simple act of sitting to tea connects us with long-standing traditions in the military and the spouses who came before us.

The history of the British Afternoon Tea:

To ease the hunger pains between lunch and dinner, the Duchess of Bedford ordered tea, bread, butter, and cake brought to her room in the late afternoon in 1840 and thus, afternoon tea was born!

Certainly, these little things in life brought her great joy, but little did she know her habit would continue as a social custom more than a century later.

Women of that era weren’t allowed in public houses or even coffee shops, so they embraced the afternoon tea and made it a social event for their friends or family.

Shirking social norms, and often their corsets, teas allowed women to take center stage.

They could freely exchange ideas, opinions, and lots of gossip. Throughout the years, tea became a moveable feast with High Tea including more substantial options than just finger food and often substituting a full dinner for many less affluent families.

Even though pre-Revolutionary War Americans boycotted tea and threw the whole mess in Boston Harbor due to King George’s outrageous taxes, today’s Tea has retained many protocol elements on pouring, serving, and even stirring.

The Tea still retains its social status amid military traditions as a place to gather, enjoy friendships, and the occasional scone or cucumber sandwich. 

The history of the Military Spouse Tea:

The tradition of military spouses holding afternoon Tea began with Martha Washington and evolved into a more formal, elegant event to say thank-you or introduce the new unit commander’s spouse or command sergeant major’s spouse to the unit. 

Spouse customs and courtesies vary from military installations around the world.

Some posts are very traditional with welcome/farewell teas while other posts’ spouse clubs have hosted membership drives and luncheons using a “garden” tea party theme with white gloves, bow ties, and derby hats—open to male and female spouses. 

What to Expect at a Traditional Military Spouse Tea:

Upon arrival at a traditional Tea, you will proceed through a receiving line shaking hands with the first spouse in the line (the hostess or host), and then shake hands with the second spouse (the honoree).  

This is the most efficient way for the honoree to meet and greet the guests.

Delectable hors d’oeuvres and desserts will be arranged on a buffet table for guests with coffee and tea set accordingly at different tables.

At a Tea, beverages are ranked in the following order—coffee, tea, punch.

This ranking order evolved as America became a new nation and being asked to “pour” at a Tea became an honor.

Dodging tea taxes, coffee became more popular and Tea guests would often choose coffee over tea or punch providing more opportunity to visit with the most senior guests while pouring.

A short event traditionally held in the afternoon, Teas offered guests the opportunity to socialize and get to know the guest of honor through brief welcome remarks or well wishes for their next adventure.  

The custom of Teas should be shared with all spouses but can be switched up for a modern twist!

Lynda enjoys adding fun elements like stick-horse races for a derby theme, biggest or funniest hat contest for a garden theme, or haunted mansion Halloween Tea. 

Our M:M Protocol Team, Lynda and Ginger, know you will make wonderful and lasting memories by adding to, or making new traditions for your unit Teas! Please share with us your ideas!

For more specific information on Teas, refer to The Army Spouse Handbook (TASH), Chapter 23. The Army Spouse Handbook (mentormilitary.com)

*Check out another M:M blog- Army Teas are Steeped in Tradition – Mission: Milspouse (missionmilspouse.org)