Starting Over and Military Spouse Employment

In 2019, I decided that age is “nothing but a number” and went back to school.

I graduated high school in 1992, and I had attempted to take college courses multiple times before, but various obstacles made it too difficult, and I had to stop.

This time, I decided I would carve out some time to pursue my passions and start my journey.

It was not easy, but I decided it was worth it. 

So many things tried to hijack my pursuit of higher education, but I persevered.

I PCSed several times, had a few crises with and subsequent treatment for my kids, and even had to be a caretaker for my mother during some health issues.

So many times, I had wanted to quit. I questioned my timing again and struggled through it.

I kept on through all of life’s challenges during that time and finally graduated Cumma Sum Laude in February of 2024 from Grand Canyon University with a bachelor’s degree in English with an Emphasis in Professional Writing.

I felt proud of this accomplishment and glad to be finished. 

Throughout my life, I struggled to feel capable of pursuing a higher education.

Growing up in school, I didn’t do well in most of my classes. I did not believe I was smart enough to get good grades, so I never tried.

My high school career counselor encouraged me to take a typing class because that was probably something that a girl like me would really need.

I took this to mean that I wasn’t smart enough to pursue a career in much of anything except secretarial work. I sometimes wonder if this type of thing played a role in my choosing to be a homemaker for many years of our marriage.

While I do value a parent being home raising their children, did I limit myself to thinking that I wasn’t enough to pursue a career?

It was easy to encourage and support my husband in his pursuit of higher education, a career, and his dreams.

I believed in him and what he could accomplish.

I found it hard for myself to move beyond being a caretaker and into the role of student.

Being a student meant less time available to care for everyone around me.

Figuring out how to “do it all” as a woman is very difficult. 

Since graduating this year, I have been trying to find a job. I work part-time, and I volunteer, but I have been looking for a more full-time job in my career field.

The reason I went back to school is so I could pursue my passion for writing, communications, journalism, and public relations, and this appears to be impossible.

True entry-level jobs seem to be hard to find since many “entry-level” positions require someone with 3-5 years of experience in the career field.

I get it, people want to hire someone at the lowest level of pay who has the most experience. 

I had written several resumes during my time in school, but I was not taught all the necessary resume-writing skills for today’s job market.

After I graduated, I did a military spouse resume writing workshop which helped me establish a solid master resume, but it felt like it just touched on the surface of what I needed to have a great resume to impress.

Then, I had a resume written for me, but it felt very disingenuous and made me look like a hero when I had zero experience.

I began to rewrite my resume according to the job postings, trying to match my skills to the desired attributes of a candidate they were looking for.

Yet, in all my applications/resumes I have submitted for job postings, I have only interviewed for one of those jobs and did a writing audition for another.

Otherwise, I heard back eventually that the position was given to someone who was “more closely aligned” with what they were looking for.

This has been such a discouraging process. 

This has led me to examine what I am putting on my resume.

Maybe I am aging myself, or do I need to explain my gap in employment?

How do I make myself competitive in the job market?

I have heard that military spouses have experienced discrimination when applying for jobs.

Organizations may not want to hire and onboard someone who could move soon.

I read about military spouse unemployment and underemployment long before I joined these ranks, and I did not understand it fully until now.

Now I get why so many have been fighting so hard for changes in military spouse employment.

Going through this process has led me to purposely choose organizations that are “military-friendly”, where being a military spouse may be an asset.

It makes me wonder how a spouse can make themselves more competitive. 

This entire process brings up memories of trying to buy a house.

We bought two houses during our marriage. Both of those experiences were roller coasters of emotions.

You find a house you love, it’s always slightly above your desired cost, and then you put in an offer only to have it turned down and then you are back to the drawing board.

Each time, you get so emotionally invested in the house. Imagine yourself living in the house, playing in the yard, cooking in the kitchen, and doing all the living you want to do there.

Then your hopes are dashed and it’s just a cycle until you finally get a house.

Usually one you mostly love, but not the one you really wanted in the first place.

In the same way, I have gotten emotionally invested in several job postings.

I spent a lot of time imagining myself working at that place, planning out every detail in work clothes, what time I would need to leave to get to work, and how I would approach the job.

Then to be met with silence after submission.

My hopes have been utterly dashed and it’s hard not to just give up completely. 

I am so grateful for every opportunity that I have been given to practice my skills and attempt to improve them more.

Being a military spouse has opened some doors that I would never been able to have if it were not for this unique experience.

I am also grateful for the way that military spouses support each other along this journey.

They willingly call or email others to see if there is something they can do to help.

I have been on the receiving end of a lot of encouragement, advice, and help.

My sisterhood of military spouses is like no other.

As I enter the new year, 2025, I am looking towards what new things are on my horizon and trying to focus on the good, while embracing the challenges. 

*To read more of Anna’s work, visit her M:M Author Page. If you are looking for more employment help, please visit Hiring Our Heroes.