No lie, THERE I WAS!  It was 1997 and I was attending my first Hail and Farewell. No longer “just one of the girlfriends”.

I had been married a few months and was in my “I am in my 20′s, I can do anything, ” era. 

My new husband was on an unaccompanied tour to Korea with the 4-7 Cav stationed at Camp Garry Owen– otherwise known as “The Dude Ranch“.

Like I said, it was 1997 and things were different back then.

I had hopped a plane with a large suitcase and unrealistic expectations of Army life.

After all I was NOT command sponsored, had NO medical coverage yet, and had NO IDEA where I would live as my husband lived in a Quonset Hut (Affectionally known as a “Hooch”) with 12 other male soldiers.

In my 20’s, it all seemed so romantic and adventurous. In my 50’s, it seems a little unhinged.

There just happened to be a Hail and FAREWELL the day after I arrived.

I had heard about Hail and Farewells, but having your first one at Camp Garry Owen really sets a bar that no other event can live up to. 

You just had to be there.

It was my first introduction to the ritual of Army toasts.  

“To the Army”

“To the CAVALRY”

“To the President”

You get the gist……

 But then came one that I feel has defined my life since getting married:

“TO OUR WIVES AND GIRLFRIENDS…MAY THEY NEVER MEET”

I was little shocked, but that wasn’t even close to the most shocking toast.

Before you get riled up, remember it was 27 years ago and there was not a woman in the room besides me.

Even the presence of the Chaplain didn’t deter the revelry.

In my 20’s, it made me wonder if the “girlfriend” was real or just macho bravado.

In my 50’s, I know EXACTLY who the “GIRLFRIEND” is.

She is the ARMY! 

And we have met. 

In fact I know her pretty well by now, and truth be told, she can be demanding, narcissistic, and sometimes downright mean.

BUT…….

She had been in his life years before we met.

She had the advantage with all her rules, regulations, and expectations.

It wasn’t “love at first sight” for me, or even second or third sight.

But through the years, I have come to accept HER.

I accept her erratic need to see my soldier at any hour she choses- day and night!

I accept that she loves exotic, remote locations to spend time with my husband.

I accept her need to be the top dog in our relationship….although in recent years she has gotten better about this.

I accept that she has many ways to seduce my husband…sexy jobs, pay raises, and even her whispered promises of better duty stations to come.

I accept that she never pretends to be fun all the time.

I accept that she provides a lifestyle most people can’t imagine.

In fact, I can’t imagine the past 27 years of marriage without HER.

I am glad I started my Army Wife life on that tiny post, just 4 KM from the DMZ.

I am further glad that I started my military life with realistic expectations about how large a role the Army would play in my marriage. 

That being said, I often remind myself that in 2026…….We can officially DUMP HER!

*To read more from Kathleen, visit her at her M:M Author Page. To learn more about the Army Tradition of Hail and Farewells, click HERE