When I started to write this article in honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I honestly was not sure where I wanted to go with it.  I “crowdsourced” a bit to find out what the expectations were from groups of military spouses, and I received answers that ranged from “I didn’t even know there was such a day,” to “My husband gives me a spa day every year.”

(Yes, there is always one spouse getting a spa day. Let’s try to not hate her.)

But, as I dove deeper into the meaning of the day and read articles about the day’s origin (Thank you, President Reagan!) and past celebrations, I was led to ask a very important question.

Who do we really want to appreciate us on May 8?

Our service members? Their units? The rest of the United States?  The (sometimes snarky) civilians who like to say, “Well, you signed up for this life?”

Or is it more important that we recognize and appreciate each other on May 8? 

Is just “seeing each other” enough to sustain us in our military life?

I think it is.

We see the struggles and sacrifices. We see the celebrations and the joy. We see the disappointments and the grief.

Most importantly we see ourselves in each other, and that is enough.

We already know how to show our appreciation through small acts of service to one another. We watch each other’s kids, edit each other’s resumes and college papers, pack and unpack household goods, scout out properties and schools, and help each other exercise and de-stress.

But perhaps what we do best is that we listen, we sympathize, we see.  

We see each other.

So, when May 8 rolls around and the world shows their appreciation to the military spouse, let’s look to our milspouse bothers and sisters and let them know that you see them. Let’s be each other’s mirrors and reflect pride and admiration for each other.

What will I do to honor military spouses?

I would like to send each and every one of y’all the ultimate milspouse care package. No limitations, no cost too high, and I would include the following 10 items.

THE ULTIMATE MILSPOUSE CARE PACKAGE

1. Mary Poppins for a week while you take some much needed alone time.
2. A week at a quaint beach house, steps from the ocean, stocked with junk food and all the books you have been wanting to read for years. For years!
3. The staff from HGTV who will help you sell your home, find a rental, and paint your walls any color you choose.
4. The offensive line from the Philadelphia Eagles to show up on household goods delivery day to arrange the furniture as many times as you want. And Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to supervise the movers (Shirt would be optional!).
5. A personal hairstylist that follows you to every duty station, no questions asked.
6. A school registration specialist who handles all the forms and paperwork needed at each new school. She will also serve as your “in case of emergency person,” so no need to stalk your new neighbors for phone numbers.
7. Marie Kondo for a day. If she doesn’t bring you joy, you can send her back.
8. Coffee, coffee, and more coffee. (Insert wine if that is your jam.)
9. Your deployed service member, making your family whole again.
10. The promise and reassurance that no matter what, you are enough, you are seen, and you are appreciated.

Take this time and opportunity to find another milspouse and lift them up.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!