You Matter (Suicide Awareness) ***Trigger Warning: This post talks about Suicide***

Some of us may have a story or many stories about how or when our lives have been touched by suicide. We may have struggled ourselves with suicidal thoughts, or known others close to us who have.

Maybe we have even known someone who lost their battle, and we are left with questions and sadness. These are difficult things.

Our military community is well acquainted with the aftereffects of suicide and plagued with how to go about preventing suicides, but we know it is a complex problem and at the center of it are people struggling in silence. 

I really want to be the kind of writer who makes you laugh and does not just write about serious things, and yet, I always seem to be drawn to serious topics to reflect on in my blog posts.

Recently, our Space Force community has endured a loss that is significant, a Space Force Chief Master Sergeant died by suicide.

He meant a lot to many people and touched many lives.

We are feeling the impact and grief of this loss and are moved to highlight the importance of taking care of ourselves and each other.

Our military community has had too many of these losses, despite the best efforts to build a culture of connection and of checking on your “wingman”.

Sometimes people just do not show the signs, or we just do not see the signs in those around us. 

A couple of weeks ago, I am grateful to have completed a mental health ally certificate through PsychHub for the Military Spouse Leadership Development Program by Military Spouse Advocacy Network.

It does not make me an expert in mental health but it did help me gain a better awareness of what to look for and how to begin that conversation.

We can all be mental health allies by first educating ourselves about suicidal awareness and then learning what to do when we find someone who may be at risk. 

It is important to me that I am proactive with people in my life, watching them for signs of being suicidal and make an effort to engage in the hard conversations.

I know that I am no one’s savior and I am not equipped to fix anyone, but I try to practice being vulnerable and approachable, and listening when someone shares their stories with me, and I try to check in on people.

I try to make myself available, and make them feel like they matter, knowing that I value them. In the Space Force, one of our core values is CONNECTION. (Space Force core values: Character, Connection, Courage, Commitment)

We, as a military community, know that our greatest asset is our people, and that it is important that everyone feels like they matter and that they belong to something greater than themselves.

We build connection by making a point to build into our culture spending time together not only working but also through have fun together and supporting one another through life’s challenges.

Another important aspect of mental health is taking care of ourselves.

I have found that I must build my life around staying mentally well, meaning that I do things on purpose to stay strong and healthy. One of the things that I try to do to stay mentally fit is to go for walks outdoors.

I also spend time talking to my spouse about everything I am thinking about and things I am feeling. I have been in and out of therapy over the years and have found that helpful.

I commit to hobbies like reading a good book, coloring adult coloring pages, or playing board games.

I also try to surround myself with good people. I have had some lucky times in my life where I was honored to have some good mentors who have added so much to my life with friendship and wisdom over the years. 

Military life has a way of putting us through the wringer.

You never know what today may throw at you. The frequent moves, TDYs, and deployments can really wear a person down.

Not to mention the day-to-day stressors of our military members working long hours and trying to do their job well when there is always more work to be done.

It’s no wonder that it can be particularly challenging to stay mentally healthy. I feel preachy, but we need each other.

Check on your neighbors.

Check on your work or parent friends.

I am so grateful for my 20 years of being a military spouse. This community has shown up for me in ways I will always be thankful for. 

I hope you know how important you are! You matter!

*If you are struggling, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 988! 

*If you want further reading on this topic, check out Sucicide is a Unique Type of Pain or REACH-SPOUSE RESOURCES