There’s one phrase I heard thousands of times growing up: “Stop fighting with your sister!” My younger sister and I were 18 months apart and as different as night and day. This apparently is the perfect recipe for near-constant fight-like-cats-and-dogs conflict.

So we fought. All. The. Time. Fortunately, as we grew and matured, we were way more adult about our differences. Plus, as teens, we learned the hard way that when your mom finally has enough of your bickering and she says, “Take it outside!” it’s never a good idea for the physical fight to occur (unbeknownst to us) in a patch of fireweed. (That’s a story for another time…)

Believe it or not, that feisty fight-for-it-attitude has served some purposes in my adult years as a military spouse. No, I haven’t engaged (and will not) in a physical altercation that involves cat-clawing with my fingernails and pulling the hair of the lady in line behind me at the commissary. And no, even though I took a boxing class during my undergrad education, I have yet to serve up a right hook or haymaker to a stranger at the post office.

But I do know when to pull out all the stops and fight for what’s really important.

I’ve learned that I’m my own best advocate. We know our own needs most deeply, and it’s true that no one’s gonna fight for you like you do—so do it!

Before you start sharpening your claws and strapping on the brass knuckles, know that “fighting” for our rights can be done in a professional and graceful way. No llama-llama-super-drama or fireweed required.

While our service members are engaged in fighting for our country and maintaining our freedom, we can fight here on the home front, for the big and small things in everyday life.

So, let’s fight:

Fight for peace. 

Fight for your marriage. 

Fight for your mental health. 

Fight for perseverance. 

Fight for comfort. 

Fight Murphy’s law. 

Fight for your physical fitness. 

Fight for your goals. 

Fight for your education. 

Fight for your kids’ safety. 

Fight for financial freedom. 

Fight for your friends. 

Fight for your passions. 

Fight for personal growth. 

Fight for progress. 

Fight for rest. 

Fight for information. 

Fight for your children’s hearts. 

Fight for strength. 

Fight for focus. 

Fight for grace. 

Fight for kindness. 

Fight for love. 

Fight for fairness and equality. 

Fight for opportunities to have fun. 

Fight for your faith. 

Fighting doesn’t have to be a dramatic, violent experience. In the animal kingdom, there are two options: fight or flight. Will we run away from a challenge or back down? Should we be intimidated by the ever-changing no-plan plans of military life and flee? Or will we stand our ground, fighting for what we know deep in our soul is best for our families, for our health, for our hearts?

Dear readers, if you’re facing challenges in your milspouse calling, know that you aren’t alone. We’re in your corner with a towel to wipe the sweat from your brow and make sure you stay hydrated. We want to bandage your knuckles and give you a whispered pep talk as you jump back in the ring. As Mark Twain (and my best friend Kally likes to remind me), “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight… It’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

Fight for you. Because only you can fight for you like you can fight for you! Victory is yours.