A Military Spouse Who Loves Change: Finding Joy in Staying Still
For many military spouses, the idea of staying in one place and putting down roots would be a dream come true. But for me, settling into one place for an extended period can feel almost unsettling!
I love the excitement and challenge of moving every couple of years, getting to explore new cities, and all of the experiences that a new city brings with it. It’s become a rhythm, a lifestyle we’ve grown accustomed to, and one that brings its own set of joys.
What happens when military life doesn’t require a move for a while? What happens when you’ve been in one place for years, and the winds of change have slowed down?
For someone like me, who thrives on new scenery, new experiences, and the feeling of constantly being in motion, this extended time in one location can feel a bit like being anchored to the same spot.
It took a while to let it soak in, and stop looking for “the move,” but I’m discovering there is something beautiful in the stillness. And I’m learning to embrace the peace that comes with being in one place for a bit.
The Excitement of Moving
When my husband first joined the military, I was excited about the adventure it promised.
Each duty station meant packing up everything we owned and set out for a new adventure. I loved exploring different parts of the country, meeting new people, and creating “home” time and time again.
The thrill of novelty is something I’ve always enjoyed — whether it’s learning about a new community, finding new local restaurants, or simply driving through unfamiliar streets.
At each new base or town, I felt like I was starting over and building something fresh.
The Comfort of Staying Put
However, after being in one spot (for the second time!) for several years, I’ve found a surprising kind of peace in settling down.
The initial feeling of being “stuck” has faded, and now, I see the stability that comes with remaining in one place as an opportunity for growth in other areas of my life.
As the mom of a teenager, staying still has afforded her one high school experience. It’s an often-uncommon scenario, and it’s been wonderful to see her deepening friendships.
The military community is always welcoming, but constantly being the “new kid” is a challenge, even for the most outgoing. There’s something incredibly grounding about being able to watch your child’s friends grow, celebrating milestones, and building a community that doesn’t change overnight.
Another benefit has been dedicating the time and space to develop my own career further. Without the energy dedicated to moving and reengaging in the community, I’ve had the time to do professional development and grow. I’ve found that there’s a richness in stillness, in giving myself the space to really settle into who I am here, in this moment.
Appreciating the Space Around Me
One of the greatest joys of staying put has been having extra time to appreciate the beauty of my surroundings.
As avid hikers and fans of the outdoors, we take any time on the trail we can get. Over the years, it’s not been unheard of for us to find a new favorite hiking spot, only to get orders right away.
But now, I’ve developed a new appreciation for the community I’m in. I know the best coffee spots, the best trails, and the local parks where I can spend an afternoon in nature.
Embracing the Stillness
At first, the idea of staying in one place indefinitely felt strange.
Would I get bored?
Would I miss the excitement of moving?
The answer to both of those is yes. But, over time, I’ve also realized that stability doesn’t mean that I’m stuck. In fact, it’s opened up new opportunities for growth and reflection.
There’s no denying that military life can sometimes make you feel like you’re living in perpetual motion, always preparing for the next move.
But as I’ve learned in my time here, the stillness doesn’t have to be a challenge — it can be an opportunity.
Staying in one place doesn’t mean giving up on adventure — it simply means choosing to make the most of the adventure where I am right now.
So, for now, I’m savoring the beauty of the place I’m in, cherishing the surroundings and community, and finding new ways to grow personally and professionally.
And when the time comes to move again, I’ll be ready for that next adventure, but for today, I’m content to stay still and enjoy the view.
*For more from Sheila, visit her M:M author page.
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