There are many gifts that come with being a military spouse. These are some of the most common gifts that quickly come to mind: Insurance, Security, Travel, Community, and Pride.

But what I want to talk about are the personal gifts of self-growth that come from the hardships of being a military spouse

As a military spouse, I have taken a break from my career, worried through several deployments, missed important dates, solo parented more days than I can count, moved away from friends and family, shed countless tears, and so much more.

These hardships have helped me grow as a person, a wife, and a mother. These gifts of “growth” cannot be taken away, and not undermined.

They represent challenges that many military spouses share.

Resilience

As a military spouse, you know the “deployment curse.” This curse never fails. The curse is ruthless and spares no one.

Cars will break down, appliances will quit, children will get sick- and so on.

The last deployment was so bad I was stranded on the side of the road in the freezing rain for hours and left without a car for days.

As military spouses, we often are away from our families. So, who do we often rely on?  Other military spouses!

Because even when these spouses are on the same deployment cycle, this particular group of friends can muster up what little energy they have to help when in need.

They know exactly what you are going through. It is more than a community. It is a particular group (in my case, women) who are the most resilient people I know.

Bouncing back is a necessity in this life.

Independence

It’s a unique life to have your spouse gone so much: deployments, TDY, or other military functions and training. The first few years my husband and I were together, we only spent about a quarter of it together, roughly four months out of the year!

I have learned to become more independent over the years because of this! It is nice to share in the responsibilities when your spouse is home, but to know that you can manage everything from kids, bills, and other duties by yourself is no small feat.

To be completely independent when needed is a great skill to have.

Courage and strength

I think these two qualities go hand in hand. It’s hard celebrating birthdays and holidays alone. Seeing couples walk holding hands while you’re missing your spouse.

It’s often these times when it seems as if the world has continued, forgetting that you and your loved one are apart. It takes strength and courage not to give up. To not want to quit this lifestyle. Because this lifestyle is demanding, it takes courage to show up consistently.

It takes strength to be proud of this life.

I wanted to offer a unique perspective on the gifts of being a military spouse.

The military spouse has an extraordinary life, and one many people don’t understand. It is a life that forces us out of our comfort zone.

I have seen these qualities in my military spouse friendships, which is incredible! They are wonderful people and some of the strongest people I know. As military spouses, we are consistently being forced out of our comfort zone, causing us to grow.

What better gift can you ask for aside from these qualities of self-growth?

Meet Sarah Dedo, Army Spouse

Meet Sarah Dedo! Sarah is married to an amazing man, and has been living the military life since 2016. Their life is unpredictable and filled with chaos and adventure. Sarah and her soldier have a rambunctious (almost) three year old boy who is full of life, and a beautiful three month baby girl.

The Dedo’s are currently stationed in Germany off of Lake Konstanze in a beautiful little town. Taking an OCONUS assignment meant taking a hiatus from Sarah’s career as a Family Nurse Practitioner, and to stay at home with her kids full time.

Sarah’s hobbies include being active (She has completed an Ironman), traveling, and playing violin. While living in Germany, she decided to start blogging!

HarmonizingtheChaos is a mommy blog, specifically geared towards military spouses.

*Head over to Mission:Milspouse to read more work from our amazing Finalists