When military families decide to have children, it is a wonderful, joyous occasion just like civilian life, except there are a few tweaks we must consider that are not obvious in the beginning.

The early years of being a military child.

At the initial stages of being a military family your kids are excited to see mom or dad in uniform, scream from the lungs that mommy or daddy is a sailor, or soldier, etc. to anyone who will listen. They love going to mandatory fun days at the units, riding their bikes in the cul-de-sac of base housing with the other kids.

Your children cannot wait for career day at school to show you off and you are happy to do it. During this time, the service member is always being asked do you have dependents or how many dependents whenever you fill out important paperwork and your future career decisions now mean taking your dependents and their needs and wants into account. 

As they get older you consider them when you PCS.

Are the school districts good and how safe is the neighborhood if it is not on base? Are there plenty of kids for them to play with? You contemplate if the assignment you chose is best for your family or is it an assignment that is good for your career? You also worry about if the career path you have chosen is best for your family. 

Then comes the day your dependents get their first Military ID card!

The joy and pride they feel when they get that little card, for a military kid is like Christmas day. Their ID cards make them feel like adults and it also means they are set apart from kids their own ages. Our kids were so proud to show off their ID cards, bad photos and all.

At this stage, you wonder not so much about the best schools, but do they offer the programs your kids are interested in.

One is an athlete, two love to participate in the music programs and one wants to join ROTC. Do the schools offer these programs? If not, should you consider moving to give your children those opportunities?  

Now another transition takes place, do you pcs again or is it time for retirement?

Your dependents ask themselves if they are going to college or trade school or if they want to follow in their parents’ footsteps and join the military? If they join the military, they are no longer become “dependents,” if they go to college they are still considered “dependents” in a way, they still get benefits and keep those handy ID cards with yet another bad photo.

They are still proud of their military parents; they still beam with pride when you show up in uniform. They have spent their entire childhood or young adult life changing schools every three years, constantly making new friends, with minimal complaints.  

Military “dependents” show more resiliency, courage, and strength the same way their parents do.

In my experience as a Military wife, I have seen our kids spear head donation drives for deployed soldiers, they have volunteered during super storm Sandy without any recognition in return, help with toy drives for fellow military families and they have shouldered the burden of helping keep moms or dad spirits up during a deployment.  

As military families, you spend a lot of time referring to your children as dependents.

But think about the word dependent? The definition of dependent is a person who relies on another, now in the Military lifestyle it refers to financial support, but in my experience who is really depending on who?

We can depend on our kids to accept the constant change and moving parts that comes with military life, and they depend on us to guide them through it with ease, not knowing the moving parts that happen in the background to ensure they are able to experience some normalcy like their counterparts.

As we transition through military life so do our kids.  

They make the transitions, career changes, worthwhile because in the end they have been afforded a life that many are not given. Our dependents get to see the world while being supportive of their military parents and we would not change their experience or our own, for our experiences are intricately intwined and have made the joy of our dependency on each other necessary.  

It is said that the dandelion is the flower of the military child, they bloom and grow wherever they are rooted, they endure, they persevere, and they bring joy and happiness to everyone, everything a military child is, not because they chose but because they accepted the assignment of being a dependent.  

*To read more of Tina’s work, check out our Blog Homepage. To read more about the Month of the Military Child, click on the DODEA HOMEPAGE.