It’s time to talk about something that’s been heavy on my mind for a long time. It’s the fact that this society seems to be devoid of empathy towards others who are struggling or going through hardships. More so others who are different from they are as far as religion, race, and creed.

It is a hard subject for me to speak on due to personal experience with not being shown empathy when I’ve shown it towards others. We will start off by defining the term empathy.

Empathy by Definition

The term empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person (dictionary.com). This term empathy is also used to express a wide variety of emotions towards the situation whether it is feelings or an experience.

“This also means that you would have the ability to be able to understand someone’s feelings and thoughts fully and wholeheartedly” – greatergood.berkeley.edu

To speak frankly it’s saying that you should be mindful of someone’s thoughts and feelings towards the situation. This also means trying to be kinder and more understanding of their thoughts and feelings.

Getting personal

It’s easier now to talk about my personal experience being shown empathy and giving empathy towards others now that I’ve taken time to fully understand and deal with my own thoughts and feelings.

For the longest time I have been mentally struggling with how to cope with people holding animosity towards me simply based on the color of my skin, different interests, or personal views on various subjects. Due to friends or family disagreeing or not understanding or trying to understand my thoughts and feelings, they have completely alienated me, and it honestly messed with my head.

I became depressed and started to draw into myself and not want to interact with anyone for fear that they would also alienate me or treat me as if I was worthless. After doing a little soul searching, I made it a point to never do to others what they’ve done to me.

I’ve always done my absolute best to show empathy towards a person no matter what their situation and understand their thoughts and feelings because it is morally the right thing to do.

Reaching out

It is never easy for anyone to reach out for help as far as mental health goes. Generally, some might try to reach out to a friend or close friend or family member on the subject.

Personally, I do understand how hard it is to reach out for help.

The worst is when you reach out for help and the person you reach out to has such a lack of empathy for your situation that they either shut you out or dismiss you completely. It’s hurtful and it makes you not want to reach out because in your mind you assume the worst that nobody would care enough to try and understand and help you.

The important thing is to not give up and try your best to reach out even though you might feel embarrassed or helpless at times. It honestly is very hard for me to reach out to anyone because when I have it did not always workout in my favor where I was either dismissed or the person I reached out to for help did not feel as if they had time to understand my thoughts and feelings of why I was feeling so low and spiraling towards depression and hopelessness.

Resources for Military Spouses

I understand that there are resources for military spouses but not all of those resources helpful. Most of them are one sided or lacking. There needs to be other resources for different situations such as racism, bigotry, and abuse. These three subjects can play on someone’s heart and mind and should be overseen with care and understanding.

Reaching out to get mental health from being in a lot of racially charged situations is extremely hard and a little embarrassing. You sometimes feel guilty for allowing yourself to feel so upset but then you also start to build up a distrust towards others for being treated so horribly and assuming that nobody has empathy or kindness in their heart.

That’s why it is important to reach out to someone who can help guide you towards getting mental health help.

Ways to Help 

Here are some alternative ways to help a friend or family member going through a tough time:

1. Showing empathy: simply having a couple of vent sessions or staying up all night on the phone with them to help them through something is more help than you realize.
2. Another way to show empathy towards friends and family or even a colleague is simply checking in to see how they are feeling.
3. checking in on someone whether it be a text, or a phone call speaks volumes to that person and shows that you love them and care about their thoughts, feelings, and welfare. It’s always the little things that make the biggest impact on a person.
4. Plan more get togethers and coffee dates with whomever you need to help boost their mental morale.

Final Thoughts

I find it incredibly important to have empathy towards anybody.

Having empathy towards someone’s situation could honestly be the difference between them turning to something dangerous like drinking or drugs versus getting professional mental and spiritual help.

Please remember that there is someone out there who is willing and ready to help you regardless of your situation.

*Read more from Anastasia here.