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Has Worry Got The Best of You?

Do you allow yourself to stay awake deep into the evening, worrying about things that will never come to pass? Do you find yourself thinking about yesterday and how it will affect your tomorrow? This has been me since the middle of May. Something struck at home and consumed me with worry—worry for today, worry for tomorrow. I haven’t been able to think and dreams haunt my night. I’ve finally found the courage to write about it and hope it helps you, too.

The week, after my tragic family moment, I attended church.

I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to show my face anywhere. I didn’t even want to leave my house, but I felt this tugging to go. Something was telling me “go to church.” After the singing was over, the pastor dove into his sermon, and his first question was, “Do you allow yourself to stay awake deep into the evening, worrying about things that will never come to pass?”

I thought to myself, crap does he know what happened? Did he prepare this sermon for me?

Gosh, that’s all I’ve done this week is worry about everything.

It’s hard being a military family and being away from your extended family when crisis occurs. What do you do? Do you fly back home? Do you wait it out? The fear is always in our hearts about being away from home and missing something, but when crisis really occurs it’s a different story.

I’m a note taker, so I got out my notebook and started writing down everything the pastor was saying. One of the first things he pointed out was that I need to change my attitude about my situation. This really resonated with me.

AshleyPicJuly

As a military spouse, I’ve had to do this countless times. Every time we move and I don’t like the new duty location, I have to change my attitude and look at this as a new adventure. If I never change my attitude, then nothing is going to change.

When we got home from church, that’s what I did. I sat down, reviewed my notes, and realized I didn’t do anything wrong.

I don’t have any control of what’s going to happen, but I need to worry about myself and my happiness in this situation. I didn’t do this and there is nothing I could have done to stop it.

I need to stop worrying about my situation, and instead, control me and my feelings. Because I’m responsible for my happiness.

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.— General George Patton

In Master Resiliency Training, they teach you to be the tennis ball—bounce don’t break—so that’s what I had to do.

I needed to get up, get out, and be me again.

I needed to stop thinking about the issues at home and focus on the here and now.

I needed to realize that my thoughts need to be filtered. I can’t let the negative ones in.

I need to bring it back to what matters in life.

I need to focus my energy on today and not worry about tomorrow. Focus on something now, I reminded myself.

As I worry about today, He will take care of my tomorrow.

My pastor was talking directly at me, I’m sure of it. His message was so clear. At the end of service I was weeping, my face wet with tears. This is the message I needed to hear. I was harming myself with all this worry. When I got home, I took out my notes and typed them up. I printed a couple of key scriptures that stood out to me and posted them on the mirrors in my home.

Now it’s been almost three months since this incident happened and I’m still struggling. This life event can change my family forever and I’m not over it. I’m still dealing with the fear and worry every day. But I constantly have to remind myself that through Him all things are possible. I need to rest in God’s ability and rely on what he is doing in my life. We are all given struggles in life, but it’s how we rise from these struggles and continue our life that matters. We will never be able to experience anything new if we continue to dwell on the past. So I sit here today, ready for my future and what the future has for my family.

How do you deal with those things that are out of your control, such as a family crisis? How do you handle the worry? Share with us. 

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