Woah, a blog about how to support your spouse for Basic Training? Aren’t we all seasoned military spouses who are more concerned with deployments or rotations than the beginning of service with Basic Training?

Well… maybe most of us are.

But this three part blog post is for all my future military spouses (and loved ones) who have no clue where to begin with, military life and are freaking out about starting this next chapter with their significant other.

I have been there and wish I had a resource like this blog to go to when I had no clue what my husband and I were signing up for.

Here are my seven tips on how to prepare with your significant other for basic training:

1. Be open and supportive through your communication with each other.

My husband, Matt, and I made it a priority to reflect during the time leading up to his departure for Basic Training. We knew our communication would be limited, so we wanted to be sure  that we talked through any potential thoughts or fears we had leading up to the experience and express our love and support for one another.

A part of that was setting up a plan for how we would approach a topic we wanted the other person to input on but could not get. One idea we had was to pre-record videos of one another that we could access while he was away.  

On my most lonely nights, those were the videos I would watch over and over to be reminded that we had one another’s support and to make me laugh.

2. Take every opportunity, every chance to spend time together.

We planned super fun trips the summer before he left for Basic. We knew that being on him being active duty would affect our ability to make vacation plans and potentially where we traveled.

So, we marked some trips off our bucket list.

Whether traveling around the world or going to a local town you have always wanted to see, plan to do the things you and your significant other have always talked about but have yet to make the time to do. 

 3. Make plans for when they’re gone.

Along with making plans with your soon-to-be service member while they are still here, make plans while they are away to do things you enjoy and keep yourself busy! I scheduled fun trips with many of my close friends and family so that each month I had at least one major event to look forward to and to keep time moving forward.

 Being intentional in doing that also made my husband feel connected as he got letters from all of the people in our lives that were supporting him as well.

Every time I saw a loved one, I took a picture of them holding a short message to encourage him and, near the end of Basic Training, sent him the collage below of all the people who were rooting him on while he was gone. 

4. Set expectations low.

Seriously, please set your expectations low. During Basic, my husband’s letters were significantly delayed arriving to him and very delayed getting to me. When I did receive updates, they were usually written three weeks earlier than when I received them.

I don’t say this to scare you but to empower you to know that communication will be limited, and that is okay.

5. Don’t get in your head and enjoy the moment.

It is easy to get in your head leading up to Basic or deployment. Sometimes if there are unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as pushing people away to avoid getting hurt or the goodbye being too painful.

It can create a mess and make the experience even more challenging. Please, don’t get in your head. Soak up all the sweet moments together while you have them, and know there are so many more amazing moments to come with one another once they are done. And the distance makes the reunion that much sweeter and worthwhile.

 6. Make an accessible document with important information and get a power of attorney.

Before Matt left, he gave me Power of Attorney (POA). We made a list of our essential usernames and passwords, and he showed me how to pay the bills, access essential insurance documents, and do anything else necessary for our house or personal belongings while gone.

This step is so important! You don’t want any extra added stress while your significant other is away, and having the assurance that you can access anything you need to with POA and knowing how to take care of things will give you extra peace of mind and security. 

7. Embrace your new titles.

Your significant other is about to go through an enormous life change by committing themselves to the military for the next few years. There is a lot of transition and a big learning curve.

Don’t be afraid of that. Embrace it!

Some ways I had fun with it was to order the cheesy baseball caps that said “Proud Army Wife” and cute tank tops I found on Etsy.  Another way is to get plugged into communities that support your new lifestyle (such as here with us at Mission: Milspouse!)

You have to take the leap of faith and begin putting yourself out there to see resources (which there are so many) and support groups that will teach you and encourage you in this next chapter. 

*This is PART ONE of a THREE PART SERIES. Please share with anyone who has a loved one in basic training! Stay Tuned for Part 2 and 3 coming up from Lindsey.

*For more tips and tricks on how to prepare for your significant other to leave, feel free to email me at lindey@missionmilspouse.org

*For for information on basic training, visit GO ARMY!