I don’t reach out.  Well, more so I struggle with reaching out.
That is my personal, toxic trait or shortcoming as a person. There’s a number of reasons I don’t reach out for help, but it is mainly due to constantly being let down.

I used to not be this way but as life has gone by, I find fewer and few people I can trust to help me thought my darkest days and nights. I’m sure a lot of us feel this way. Feelings as if there’s no help anywhere from anyone whether it be professional help or personal (friends/family).

 I have been feeling that way for a long time.

I get inside my head a lot and need a lot of help coming out of it. I’ve tried to help myself by trying some self-help blogs from Pinterest and YouTube, but they are short term fixes.

I did have a therapist for a short time and assumed it was helping. I did my best to try and be more open to asking for help and trusting people more.

Alas, I am back at square one due to the holidays.

The Holiday season used to be one of my favorite times of year, but because of a very traumatic event that happened in 2020 on Christmas day, I do not feel the same way now, and have a growing disdain for it.

I hate that someone took that away from me. Its gotten pretty difficult over the past few years. I’ve started to think that everyone hated me the same way my traumatizers did. The dark thoughts made draw further and further into myself making me start to hate everything about who I am, and look at myself in a very harsh light.

We have all been there, but we can’t stay there.

Now is the time to be more transparent about our feelings. I learned this and many other helpful things from one of my favorite books called “ Breathe Mama Breathe” by Shonda Moralis.

The book has helped me self-reflect and be more proactive about changing things about me for the better. From the book, I have learned to be more transparent about my feelings and explain my feelings without getting overwhelmed.

Working on communication is one of my primary goals.

Another BIG take away I got from the book was learning to reconnect with myself. Enjoying my own company and banishing out the negative parts of my brain that seem to be the loudest.

I also learned I don’t always need to be on the defensive from fear of being hurt.

As spouses and parents, we rarely take time to take care of our mental health, and we need to take more time to address and take care of it in a positive and healthy way!

We deserve to have peace, happiness, and consistent positivity. I encourage anyone reading this blog post to purchase the book. The funny thing is, I found this book at a free library in town (ha-ha).

Thanks to this book I (now) take extra steps into reaching out for help and/or building relationships. I’ve been so hard on myself for so long, and it’s nice to have a better outlook on life. I’ve started enjoying things more and doing the things I like to do (for example, wearing pretty clothes that reflect the Rococo fashion period and cottage core themes).

All in all I challenge you (my dear reader) to take the time to take charge of your mental health, and do what makes you happy.

Life is too short to ignore your personal needs.

*You can find Moralis’s book HERE
“You can find my favorite positivity pin HERE