Mayhem and Meaning: Embracing the Crazy-Busy Beauty of May as a Milspouse.

For most families, May is a month of celebration. The flowers are blooming, school years are wrapping up, and milestones like proms and graduations fill the calendar.

But for military families, May often feels like a sprint through an obstacle course—with PCS orders in hand, last-minute logistics swirling, and the weight of Memorial Day and Mother’s Day resting heavy on our hearts.

In our world, this month can feel like it’s packed to the brim and then some. There’s the emotional pull of celebrating our children while managing the stress of a cross-country move.

There’s the challenge of honoring those we’ve lost while holding space for the living, for laughter, and for love. We often find ourselves carrying the joyful and the painful all at once. And somehow, we do it.

A Story of May Madness

I’ll never forget one particular May when I was deployed to Iraq. My oldest son was about to graduate from high school, and I had every intention of being there for him.

I had dreamed of that moment, watching him walk across the stage, my heart full of pride. But as is often the case in military life, the plan didn’t go as expected.

My flight home was delayed a full week. I scrambled to re-route my way through Germany, praying that I would make it in time.

By the grace of God and some creative flight changes, I did. I made it home just in time to see my son graduate. The tears in my eyes weren’t just from pride—they were from relief.

But there was no time to pause.

The very next morning, we were packing up our entire house for a PCS move. From combat boots to cardboard boxes, just like that.

That kind of chaos might sound unthinkable to a civilian, but for us? It’s strangely familiar. These overlapping life events—the homecomings, the farewells, the milestones celebrated in a blur—are part of the military family story.

They make us resilient.

They connect us. And even when the pace is exhausting, there’s something sacred about showing up for it all.

The Challenge of the Beautiful Month

May stretches us. It forces us to be more than one thing at a time. Joyful and grieving. Grateful and stressed. Fully present and also two steps ahead.

That’s why it’s so important to approach this month with intentionality. We can’t do everything, and we certainly can’t do it all well if we try to do it alone. The truth is, we need margin. We need each other. And we need a plan.

Three Anchors for the Storm

Here are three simple but powerful steps to help you navigate the month of May with purpose:

1. Make a Plan—But Hold It Loosely

Life in the military teaches us that flexibility is a survival skill. Make your to-do list, build your calendar, talk through the logistics—but don’t be surprised when something shifts. Anticipate the unexpected. Your sanity will thank you.

Whether it’s a promotion ceremony that gets moved or an unexpected delay in your spouse’s return, the goal is not perfection. The goal is presence. Show up where it matters, and let the rest go.

2. Set Boundaries with Grace

You can’t attend every event or say yes to every request. And you don’t have to explain yourself. Protect your peace by drawing boundaries that keep your family, your health, and your spirit in mind. Say yes to what gives life. Say no to what drains it.

Sometimes the most courageous thing we can do is say, “Not this time.” Traditions matter—but so does rest. Find the balance.

3. Anchor in Faith and Tradition

Military life constantly uproots us, but traditions ground us. Whether it’s reading a particular Scripture on Memorial Day, gathering for a simple Mother’s Day breakfast, or taking a moment to journal your prayers before a move—those anchors hold us steady.

For me, faith is my compass. When the calendar is full and my heart feels thin, I turn to the One who never changes. I’ve found that even in the whirlwind of May, God meets me. In the quiet moments between the noise, His peace settles in.

Tradition reminds us who we are. Faith reminds us whose we are.

A Community Like No Other

One of the most beautiful things about being part of the milspouse community is that we get it. We understand the highs and lows, the missed birthdays and the surprise homecomings.

We know how to celebrate big even when we’re exhausted. We know how to keep going even when it feels like too much.

May may be mayhem—but it’s also magnificent. Because in it, we see who we really are: Strong. Faithful. Flexible. Rooted. And deeply, beautifully connected.

So to my fellow military spouses, whether you’re surrounded by prom dresses or moving boxes, preparing for a deployment or welcoming someone home—take a breath. You’re doing better than you think. You are not alone.

You are part of a story that is both hard and holy.

And that story? It’s worth telling.

Chaplain (MAJ) Joseph R. Mason, of Salem, OR serves as the Deputy Division Chaplain for 4th Infantry Division, and is stationed at Fort Carson, Colorado. He entered the Army in 2002 through Officer Candidate School, receiving a commission in the Ordnance Corps.

He  is married to his wife of 21 years, Candace. Together they have four children: Wyatt (18), Owen (16), Ruby (13), and Chloe Joy (8). 

Go to The Chaplain’s Corner to read more posts like this!