Memorial Day is a day I will always struggle with.

Memorial Day 2012 will always be the most memorable and heartbreaking holiday I have ever experienced.

That emotional day, Toby was returned to us in a flag-draped casket after he lost his life in Afghanistan. It seemed fitting that he returned home on Memorial Day. I think it seems more fitting now that I’ve had years to think about it. At the time, I knew what Memorial Day was.

Well, kind of… I knew the definition but not the cost.

I truly didn’t know the cost.

I didn’t know the cost to the families and friends that are left behind. It doesn’t seem fair that we have to have the observance, because it means that we have to have the loss, too.

It doesn’t seem right that not every family gets to cry tears of joy at a homecoming.

It doesn’t seem right that some wounds cannot be seen and some battles aren’t lost on the battlefield.

It doesn’t seem right that Toby will miss out on dancing at his girls’ weddings and seeing his son turn into the man that he would be proud of.

All of these things should happen, but some service members’ stories don’t quite end like that.

We celebrate Memorial Day for the service members whose stories live on in their children, their families, and their military family. For the service member whose lives were cut short, but whose story will carry on because they are loved and remembered.

I wish we didn’t have to observe a day that remembers those we lost; I wish they were here with us.

I am thankful that such a day does exists though, so that the families and nation can come together to remember and honor our heroes.

Memorial Day is a day to remember and honor those service members who lost their lives. It is a day to pause and remember those who gave their all.

I think it’s also a time to enjoy the loved ones that are with us, and be grateful that we have seen another year. So enjoy your day and festivities, but also take a moment to remember those that lost their lives, too.