Navigating the Holiday Season as a Military Spouse: Embracing Joy, Faith, and Tradition
As a military spouse, the holiday season can stir up a mix of emotions—joy, stress, excitement, and sometimes a tinge of longing.
You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt the whirlwind of trying to create a “perfect” holiday while managing the unique challenges that come with military life.
Whether your spouse is deployed, you’ve recently moved, or you’re navigating the holiday season in a new duty station, the demands can sometimes feel overwhelming.
But here’s the thing: the beauty of this season doesn’t lie in perfection.
The magic comes from the love you pour into your home, the traditions you carry forward or create anew, and the faith that guides you through it all.
When you embrace both the joys and stresses, the holiday season can become a time of deep connection, reflection, and peace—even amid the chaos.
The Joys of the Season: Embrace Every Precious Moment
First, let’s acknowledge the magic.
The holidays are filled with beautiful, fleeting moments that can easily be missed if you’re too focused on your to-do list.
Whether it’s decorating the house with lights, baking cookies with your kids, or watching their excitement as they write letters to Santa, these moments are worth soaking in.
As a military spouse, you know better than anyone that time together is precious. The holiday season magnifies this truth.
If your spouse is home, it can feel like a gift just to have them present for these moments.
If they’re deployed or away for training, it may mean celebrating differently—but the love and connection remain.
Joy during the holidays doesn’t come from everything going perfectly. It comes from sharing memories, laughing together, and finding joy in the little things.
When you focus on these moments, you’ll realize how much joy there truly is in this season.
The Stresses: When Expectations Weigh Heavy
Of course, with joy comes stress, especially in military life. The expectations you place on yourself to make everything perfect can sometimes overshadow the season.
Maybe you’re worried about whether you’ll have everything ready on time, or you’re trying to maintain traditions in the face of yet another PCS move.
And if your spouse is away, the loneliness can add another layer of stress.
One of the biggest challenges as a military spouse is balancing the desire to create lasting memories for your family while navigating the unpredictability of military life.
You might feel pressure to make up for lost time, or to ensure your children don’t feel the absence of their deployed parent.
These feelings are normal, but they don’t have to consume you.
It’s okay to let go of some of the expectations. If you can’t make every holiday tradition happen this year, it’s okay.
If your tree doesn’t look like the one you envisioned, or the cookies get a little burnt, that’s okay too. What matters is the love and effort you put into the season—not the outward perfection.
Give yourself grace. Remember, your family will remember how they felt, not how perfect everything looked.
Faith: The Anchor Amidst Uncertainty
For many military families, faith plays a crucial role in the holiday season.
Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or another holiday, faith offers a sense of stability and comfort when life feels uncertain.
It reminds you that there’s something greater than the temporary challenges of military life.
During this season, turning to faith can help you stay grounded.
It can offer peace when you’re missing loved ones or when the weight of expectations feels too heavy.
Leaning into prayer, attending religious services, or reflecting on the spiritual meaning behind the holiday can give you the strength to navigate both the joys and stresses of this time.
Faith also reminds you that you’re never alone in your journey.
Whether it’s through a military chapel community, a local place of worship, or simply quiet moments in prayer, faith offers connection—to God and to others.
Let it guide you through the busy season, bringing you moments of reflection and peace.
The Importance of Tradition: Building a Legacy for Your Family
Traditions are one of the most beautiful aspects of the holiday season. They create a sense of continuity and stability, especially when military life often feels unpredictable.
Whether it’s decorating the tree on a certain day, making a special dish, or watching the same holiday movie every year, traditions give your family something to look forward to.
As a military spouse, you might worry about how to maintain traditions in the face of constant change.
Maybe this year you’re celebrating the holidays in a new house, or maybe your spouse won’t be there to share in the traditions.
But traditions don’t have to look the same every year to matter. The heart of the tradition—the connection, the love—remains the same.
Don’t be afraid to adapt your traditions to fit your current situation. If you can’t be together as a family, find ways to celebrate over a video call.
If you’ve just moved, start a new tradition that reflects your current location.
The important thing is that you’re building a legacy for your family, one that can adapt and grow with each new chapter of military life.
Action Steps to Help You Thrive This Holiday Season
- Embrace Imperfection: Let go of the pressure to make everything perfect. Focus on the moments that matter—the laughter, the love, the togetherness. Perfection isn’t what makes the holidays special; it’s the heart behind them.
- Stay Grounded in Faith: Lean into your faith during this season. Take time to pray, reflect, and seek peace amidst the busyness. Faith can offer you the stability and comfort you need, especially when life feels uncertain.
- Create or Adapt Traditions: Don’t be afraid to modify traditions to fit your current situation. Whether it’s a simple holiday movie night or a special meal, these moments will become cherished memories for your family.
The holiday season as a military spouse may not always be easy, but it’s filled with opportunities for joy, love, and growth.
When you embrace the season with grace, faith, and a willingness to adapt, you’ll find that it’s not about having everything perfect—it’s about cherishing the moments that make it truly special.
Chaplain (MAJ) Joseph R. Mason, of Salem, OR serves as the Deputy Division Chaplain for 4th Infantry Division, and is stationed at Fort Carson, Colorado.
He entered the Army in 2002 through Officer Candidate School, receiving a commission in the Ordnance Corps.
He is married to his wife of 21 years, Candace. Together they have four children: Wyatt (18), Owen (16), Ruby (13), and Chloe Joy (8).
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