Growing up is hard to do. And personal growth can be even harder.

Seems like a pretty obvious statement, but hey… we probably all need to be reminded every now and again.

Some folks might think that “growing” stops when we reach a certain age or milestone, perhaps when we turn 18, graduate from college, get married, have kids, retire from the military, or become empty-nesters.

But, when it comes right down to it, the most content, fulfilled, and successful people are going to be those who grow their entire lives.

I don’t know about you, but I definitely want to be in that category of “personal growers.”

So today, I’m sharing five powerful, necessary steps of personal growth:

1. Know yourself.

This means more than knowing your name, date of birth, and sponsor’s social security number. It goes deeper than what we look like or where we have been. This is the starting point of where we are going on our journey of personal growth.

Think to yourself: What do you like to do? What are you good at? What would you like to be better at?

There are many ways to get to know yourself. I do a lot of journaling—from daily devotional thoughts to keeping a bucket list of things “to do” before I kick the bucket. It adds such depth and spice to life.

Also, you can take quizzes or assessments… and no, I don’t mean the silly ones on Facebook when you learn “Which Downton Abbey Character Are You?” or “Based On Your Accent, Where Should You Live?” Through assessments and striving to know ourselves, we think deeper as we discover our strengths, abilities, and personality types.

2. Continually seek to learn.

Holding the title of a life-long learner pushes us to be better in all areas of our lives—plus it keeps things interesting. When is the last time you intentionally learned something? Consider taking a class to hone your skills in a category of interest or develop a totally new skillset. Heck, you can even read books or take a class just for the fun of learning and growing. I have done this and loved every second of it. As a result, I have a diploma from Missouri Auction School that deems me a certified auctioneer. Not only is it a super fun (albeit random) skill, but it challenged me and it makes a great conversation starter.

3. Embrace the growing pains.

This is the hangup for most folks. When growing becomes hard, we tend to stop. However, when those growing pains start to surface, I encourage you to power through it. Just like our teenage years, our early years of marriage, or that time we worked with a personal trainer to get fit, most great experiences are going to require some difficulty as we conquer obstacles. Stick it out, and embrace the growing pains. It will be worth it.

4. Be open to constructive feedback.

Gracefully receiving feedback is a huge step in this growth process. Sometimes we need an outside perspective to show us in which areas we can grow.

There are a few tips that come with this step.

First, notice the word “constructive.” Make sure that whoever is giving you feedback on your skill, experience, or performance is someone you trust and respect. Don’t let the haters get you down (because let’s be honest, there will be haters).

Next, decide how you like your feedback: Hamburger style or steak style? “Steak style” feedback is like slapping a big ol’ steak on the grill—they just lay it all out there, boom, done. I personally prefer “hamburger style” feedback. Think of a hamburger between the buns. This type of feedback shares something positive about what we have done, then the “meat” is the critique, followed by closing with something positive. Cool, right?

Finally, consider a similar method of open feedback discussion called “gems and opportunities.” This technique is just the way it sounds. Feedback comes in two forms: Gems, which are the awesome little jewels of knowledge or accomplishment, then opportunities which are the areas of growth that we can focus on as we move forward.

5. Celebrate every milestone! 

The best part of personal growth is celebrating how far we have come. It might be in a fitness area, or in our marriage, or in our role as a parent, leader, friend, student… but with each milestone be sure to recognize how much you have grown. Remember: The process of personal growth is not about being better than others but being better than our former selves. 

Take a moment and consider: What areas of your life do you feel called to grow personally? What steps will you take to get there? What challenges do you anticipate along the way and how can you over come them? I would love to hear some feedback… Join the conversation by leaving a comment.

So, yes, my friends… Growing up can be hard to do—but it sure can be a lot of fun, too!

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. — Mark Twain