Bye, bye, bye. Cute when it’s an NSYNC song, heart-wrenching when it’s your Milspouse reality.
I mean, it’s one thing when you are leaving a duty station and YOU are leaving everyone behind.
But you’re the one getting a fresh start, starting a new chapter and voyaging new seas!
However, what happens when you are the one staying at your current duty station and every one of your closest friends is leaving… at the same time!
We are all milspouse’s so we have all done our fair share of goodbyes.
We know that it’s hard enough to say goodbye to 1 beloved friend in a season. It’s so sad to lose 2 friends in a season.
But three within a month time frame?
Man, go easy on me Army!
Way to leave me “All By Myself” (sung in Celine Dion’s most enthusiastic belting- okay enough song quotes for one blog post).
But, what’s a woman to do?
Today I got to spend lovely time with these three women in my life.
They have been such unique and special parts of my journey. We haven’t spent quality time all together in a group before today.
But man, it was the most special day.
We celebrated my birthday at a local winery.
A gorgeous sunny day in the vineyard.
Slight breeze, live music, and a homemade picnic.
The conversation was so easy and fun. I couldn’t believe we hadn’t done it sooner.
One of the women has been my mentor, my teacher, my friend, confidant, and inspiration.
She screams success but mostly because of her heart for God and her countless giftings.
Let alone tack on all her actual accomplishments such as being a doctor.
We have shared amazingly fun times together, holidays, hard times such as sick children and have done tons of learning/ teaching time.
I’m left to wonder who will teach and guide me?
Who can I ask all the important life questions (I literally have a list full of them on my phone to pick her brain about)?
Who will support me when my kids are sick or I need to “adult” with… well, you know… AN ADULT.
Then there is my longest friend I have still here.
We have volunteered and served on the PWOC board together. We got to attend my very first military ball together.
She was a part of my very first official Milspouse friend group. We’ve done birthday parties, girls’ dates, coffee chats, and house hangouts.
We talk about the real hard things in life and have witnessed significant growth in one another.
A true gem and wonderful battle buddy.
Lastly, there is my momma friend.
The sweetest, most thoughtful, and giving soul. She has 2 young boys like me, and my oldest son made best friends with her youngest.
We like to say that our boys knew we needed to be friends before we even did. We’ve done all the things that your mama best friends do.
From diaper changes to thrift dates, to cooking, and even my son’s first sleepover!
She served me so selflessly when I entered the two under two life and our friendship has felt timeless even though she’s been one of my newest friends.
My time with her is always a joy and a treasure and I can’t even imagine her moving OCONUS.
To meet one of these beautiful ladies would be a blessing, but to know all three I am speechless.
But now, this month I have to say “bye, bye, bye” one after another like clockwork two weeks apart.
We are being dispersed all over the world with very unique missions and our husbands pursuing very different career goals in the army.
Younger (and much less mature) me would want to hoard them all to myself.
They are MY friends. I don’t want them to leave.
I don’t want our friendship to change. I don’t want them to grow just as close or even closer to someone else at their next home.
Maybe my mentor will find someone else to mentor, and they will go deeper than we ever did.
Or maybe my mom friend will raise her boys beside another mom and get more time to do life together.
Maybe my friend who I’ve served alongside will do bigger and better things for ministry than we got to accomplish together.
And it would make me feel inadequate.
But now, as I look at my friends, I have so much love and joy in my heart and have learned hard lessons along the way that have taught me that the best gift you can ever give a friend… is more friends.
The best gift you can ever give a friend is the gift of excitement for what is happening in their life and being their biggest cheerleader.
I am so thankful for the season that I was a part of their story and they were a part of mine.
I so treasure our special moments and will carry them with me. Maybe once they move we will talk every day and maybe (and more likely) we won’t or maybe we won’t even talk for years.
As I say goodbye to each of these wonderful women, I can confidently support them, pray for them, and hope that they do find meaningful and wonderful friendships that meet them exactly where they are at in their next life phases.
I hope they find many people to mentor and love and cherish time with.
So my dear friends and fellow milspouses, whenever you say goodbye to those you love and even if you’re the one stuck behind- hold down the fort. And send them off with all of your love.
Be excited for the adventures they are to have and be confident your own is coming too. Be present, you’re staying where you’re at for a reason. For as the famous saying goes, “if you really love someone, you gotta set them free”.
*Read more of Lindsey’s work HERE.
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