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When the Going Gets Tough

All right, friends… Time for a little bit of audience interaction.

How would you complete the following phrase?

When the going gets tough:

A.) I get stressed/frustrated/annoyed
B.) I dive into the biggest bag of chocolate available
C.) I hide in the nearest closet (with or without aforementioned bag of chocolate)
D.) I keep going

Got your answer? Great. If I am being completely honest (which is what I try to do ’round these parts) I would have to say my answer would encompass all of the above.

(I know. Sorry that wasn’t an option in the multiple choice. Just chalk it up to writer’s liberties.)

We all know that being an military spouse and loving our service member is not an easy job. Sure, it has its wonderful, rewarding, romantic moments, but this life that we have been called to also has those grit-your-teeth, hold-back-tears, I-need-chocolate tough moments.

So, what do we do when those moments hit? Just like our multiple choice answers, we have several options that are  a combination of them all.

Here are a few tips of what to do when plans changes, the hubby is gone, the kids are sick, the car won’t start, and things are just downright tough.

1. When the going gets tough, it’s okay to take a time out.

Just don’t quit. We live in an all-or-nothing world. It is a world that says if you need to hit the pause button, then you are a failure. You might as well just throw in the towel. I totally don’t agree. We all need little time-outs when the going gets tough. It might just be taking some time to pray during the kids’ nap time, or it might be doing something just for ourselves before the kiddos come home from school. Perhaps our time-out is putting our service member or someone we trust in charge of our little ones, grabbing that bag of chocolate, and locking ourselves in the bathroom and soaking in the tub for 30 minutes to recharge our hearts. Then you can get your game face back on and go at it again.

2. We can (and should!) ask for help.

Fellow spouses, there is no shame in asking for help when things are piling up. It could be doing something simple, like having one of the neighbor’s kids mow the backyard for $10 every two weeks, or asking for help might be reaching out to your church to see if they might be able to provide a meal or two so you can get through the tough season. It could even be doing some babysitting swapping so you can have a break.

3. When the going gets tough, remember it won’t last forever.

We all have hard seasons in life—seasons of sickness, deployment, unknowns in our future, you name it, but we must remember to take it at face value. It is just a season and it won’t last forever. This tip is really hard to remember in the moment, but oh-so-important.

So, dear spouses, if you are in a season of tough stuff, take these tips to heart and know that when the going gets tough, we can keep going—with or without our bag of chocolate.

Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. — John Quincy Adams

How do you make it through the tough season? Share with us!

Author

  • Dr. Sharita Knobloch has been married to her beloved infantryman husband for 12 years. She holds a Doctor of Education in Community Care and Counseling: Pastoral Counseling from Liberty University.

    Sharita is mama, a smallish dog owner, aspiring runner, writer, speaker, and spiritual leadership coach. She has been with Mission: Milspouse (formerly Army Wife Network) since February 2014. In 2020, she was named Armed Forces Insurance Fort Bliss Military Spouse of the Year.

    Sharita gets really excited about office supplies and journal shopping, is a certified auctioneer, overuses hashtags on a regular basis with #NoShame and frequently uses #America! as a verb.

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